Time Traveling Martial Artists
by Cloud Dancer1014
Summary: After the wedding blew up all around him, Ranma escapes on a training trip for a month and a half . . . or was it just that long for those left behind? Now he's back, and nothing will ever be the same again . . .
1. Chapter 1

Greetings, and welcome to my attempt at story number two. Hopefully this works as well as my last attempt, because honestly, I'm flattered that you all enjoyed it. I feel like celebrating, but I have no cash. I guess you can also use this as my disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!

* * *

All was quiet in Nerima. It was over a month since the Saotome-Tendo wedding fiasco, and about as long since Saotome Ranma, local aqua-transsexual and martial artist, went on a long term training trip. Nobody could blame him, not even Tendo Akane, his tomboy fiancé. This could be due to how he treated his father, Saotome Genma, when he tried to stop him. He was still laid low with a broken leg.

Since then, chaos had reigned supreme. Shampoo (his Chinese Amazon wife by Amazon law), Kuonji Ukyo (his other legal fiancé), and Kuno Kodachi (local nutcase and insane Ranma stalker) stormed the Tendo Dojo looking for directions to where Ranma had gone, not even a day after he left. When Tendo Nabiki (resident information dealer) refused to give out information due to a feeling that Ranma REALLY didn't want company, Shampoo and Kodachi reacted violently, and Akane and Ukyo were forced to fight them off. Kodachi was knocked into orbit rather easily, but Shampoo easily got a nasty hit into Akane's gut, and Ukyo was forced to fend her off until Tendo Soun (the patriarch and father of the clan) snapped and kicked her out. He then stopped and wept over Akane.

Akane, on the other hand, managed to stagger to her feet as her oldest sister, Kasumi, broke out the first aid kit and fussed over her. After her broken ribs were wrapped up, Akane stumbled up into her room. She then broke out into tears. She had always prided herself over her skills as a martial artist, but to be taken out of a fight so easily freaked her out. Then P-chan showed up . . .

After weeping her troubles into the apparent pig, she calmed down and decided to take a bath. Unfortunately for P-chan, he didn't notice anything, as he plotted his vengeance on Ranma for making Akane cry, until she was naked and carrying him into the furo.

The resulting blow up was nasty and violent, and Hibiki Ryouga (who had fallen into the Spring of Drowned Pig and was masquerading as Akane's pet pig) soon learned how it felt to be on Akane's bad side.

She had yet to come out of her room since then, other than to use the bathroom and grab some food.

Since then, several whacked out martial artists showed up, followed by Pantyhose Taro. The martial artists left after a bit, but Taro had to be knocked out by the Cologne, local Chinese Amazon elder and Shampoo's great-grandmother, as Happosai, master of Anything Goes Martial Arts and local super pervert, was out. Even so, he probably wouldn't have done anything, much less change the poor idiot's name (he had given Taro his name when he stumbled upon his naming ceremony in a village when Taro was born; he's also the only one that can change it by Taro's village laws). It was bad enough the guy changed into a Minotaur with tentacles when splashed with cold water.

The waning moon rose in the night, and all was silent. Then, a ringing sound came from an alley a few blocks from the dojo. In Japan, nobody would have recognized what it was that materialized there, but if a British person was around, the object would have been identified as a British Police Box.

When it became solid, the door open, and a blinding light shone out of it. A bulky shadow appeared in the door, and as it exited and turned around, it stretched an arm out and waved. The door then closed, and the box started ringing and phasing out.

When the shadow stepped out of the now dark alley, it was shown to be a short, red haired woman in a kimono. A large backpack was strapped to her back, and she carried it as if it weighed nothing. If it was daytime, and the heavy pack wasn't on the girl's back, one could easily assume that this was Saotome Nodoka, Ranma's mother. She had stopped by the dojo every two or three days to check out whether her son had stopped in yet.

However, this wasn't her. As the figure walked up to the dojo, she stopped and looked up at the house. A smile appeared on her face, and Saotome Ranma sighed and exclaimed "It's great to be home!"

* * *

Dawn came, and Kasumi woke up and went to the kitchen to cook breakfast. She wasn't really awake yet, so she couldn't be blamed for not noticing the girl on the couch. Nor could Nabiki be blamed. It usually took her three cups of coffee to become aware of her surroundings, and five to completely wake up.

However, Akane did notice, and when she shrieked, the other two Tendo sisters came running. They stood there, staring at the redhead on the couch. The face was obviously Ranma's but the kimono was a feminine style yukata; it was red with golden flowers. Also, the braid the hair was in was definitely not Ranma's trademark pigtail.

However, when the girl stirred, and her eyelids fluttered open, nobody could deny that those were Ranma's bright blue eyes. She stretched, showcasing the large breasts on her chest. The girls, despite claiming to be straight, couldn't help but stare at the cleavage that was showcased by the kimono.

After stretching, Ranma blinked a few times, and then seemed to notice that she had company. "What are you guys staring at? Is there something on my face?" The boy-turned-girl quipped.

The three sisters shook themselves, and Nabiki narrowed her eyes. "Where the hell have you been, and what is up with the kimono?"

Normally, Ranma would have become flustered at the nosy girl, but she just smirked. "The yukata was payment for a job. I got roped into some undercover work from some government people." The aqua-transsexual then noticed that Akane looked like she hadn't slept or bathed in a while. He narrowed his eyes. "What the hell happened while I was gone? No offense, 'Kane, but you look like shit!"

The blue haired girl flinched and looked away, as Nabiki replied "A certain pig got a nice hot bath, and the Amazons have been on the warpath since you left. If you want any more than that, it's going to cost you."

The Saotome gave a grim smirk. "It's 'bout time that bastard got what he deserves."

At this remark, Akane whipped her head back around, and her eyes held flames of barely contained rage. "You KNEW about that PERVERT?"

Ranma's smirk disappeared, and for a moment, Nabiki thought that she was about to panic and cause a nasty 'accident' to happen to herself, but instead, she softly murmured "I accidentally pushed him into the Spring of Drowned Pig when he followed me to Jusenkyo. Because it can be considered a glaring weakness, I swore an oath that I wouldn't tell another soul that he was cursed. This was before he became your pet." She then grimaced. "And kami knows how many times I hinted to you about that . . . "

Akane held her pose for a moment, and then seemed to deflate into herself. "Sorry. I . . . I guess it's not your fault this time . . ."

The redhead smirked again. "Damn right, though if you want to hit someone, you can go after our fathers." As the girl looked up, he scoffed, "They weren't bound by any vows of silence, but they saw him go back and forth enough times to know."

As the Tendo girls gaped at this revelation, Ranma turned to Nabiki. "Am I to assume that you didn't know about the porker?" She shook her head no, and her brown, Paige-boy haircut waved in front of her face.

Ranma nodded her head thoughtfully. She then got up from the couch. "I need to change out of this thing; odds are this place will become a combat zone after all the other idiots out there realize where I am. We can talk about gifts and current events later."

Nabiki snapped her head around. "Gifts? What do you mean . . . ?"

Ranma smirked yet again as she climbed the stairs. "Like I'm going to go on a trip, work a few highly classified jobs for some government agencies, and not bring something back? Meet me in the kitchen in five minutes, and I'll show you what I've got. Just don't go digging in my bag; it doesn't smell right in there . . . "

* * *

Ranma walked into the kitchen wearing his usual black pants and red Chinese shirt. He had splashed himself with hot water, but he had kept the braid, which gave him more of an older look. In his hands were several packages that he had dug out of his bag. Remarkably, they didn't smell all that bad for being in his bag.

The Tendo sisters stood around the room. Kasumi was tending to the stove, which had breakfast cooking on it. Nabiki was sitting on the counter, arms folded under her chest. Akane had taken up the spot by the sink. She still looked like a mess, but it was obviously that some of the light had returned to her eyes.

"Alright, gather round, ladies. Let's see what I got here . . . " He set the packages next to Nabiki, and started to dig into them. He came out with a large book in his hand, and he handed it to Kasumi. She opened it up and gaped at the contents.

"Oh my!" She brought it around to reveal a series of European recipes that had been translated into Japanese. Later on, she would find selections from Germany, Italy, France, and the British Isles. She looked up to see Ranma holding up another package in front of her. She opened, and her exclamation, if possible was even louder. She held up a magnificently violet kimono. It was furisode-styled, and had a black obi.

"Thought you might like that" he said with a grin. He turned around to the packages again. He turned back around and handed Nabiki a small velvet bag and two rectangular packages. The bottom one was definitely solid.

She opened the small velvet bag curiously, and froze. Her eyes opened wide, and her mouth was left gaping. Akane and Kasumi peaked over her shoulders, and immediately copied her expression. Ranma grinned.

"Most of them aren't high quality, but you should get enough to pay for the repairs to the house, the mortgage for the next few years, and may have enough to pay for college expenses for the three of you. I also have some recommendations on where you can sell them; a friend of mine has a contact here that can find us a decent market for them," he told the flabbergasted girl.

The girl nodded dimly, stashed the bag of gems down her shirt, and then opened the next package, which revealed a green komon-style kimono with a red obi. It was cut a bit differently than Kasumi's, as the neckline was noticeably lower. She stared for a moment, and then turned her attention to the last package. In it, she found a laptop.

"I told a friend of mine in one of the agencies that I had a friend interested in business and finance. She gave me that for you, and told me that she had outfitted it with the latest business and accounting software. I have the cord in another part of my bag somewhere."

As the girl sat there, gaping at the treasures she had been blessed with, Ranma grabbed the rest of the package and handed it to Akane. "I can't promise a bag of diamonds or a laptop, but I should have a few things that might interest you."

Again, there were three packages. As she opened her first gift, she found two Chinese-style, decorated steel fans. Closed, they were about half of the length of her forearms. When she opened them up, she found a blue background decorated with red flowers. "How . . . why . . . I don't even know how to use these . . ."

"No problem; I can show you how to use them later." Akane blinked and gaped at the boy. They may have sparred every now and then, but for Ranma to actually offer to teach Akane anything . . .

He noticed her stare. "Hey, I'm not qualified to teach Anything Goes, but the fans are a different style." He looked her up and down. "We could also step your training up for a bit; it looks like you haven't done much training lately."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Akane demanded.

The boy grimaced. "It just looks that way; I don't mean anything by it. And besides, I've learned a few more tricks that you might find useful."

Akane calmed down. He was right; she hadn't done anything other than sit in her room and sulk. A decent martial arts training session would help get her back on track . . . and if Ranma was leading it . . .

"How . . . how good do you think I could get . . . " she asked.

Ranma made a show of thinking. "Well . . . if we work all this week whenever we have free time; I ought to be able to get you to a decent defensive level. I guess it's partly my fault, but your ability to block or evade blows sucks. Once we improve that, we can work on proper ki manipulation, and that should get you about where Shampoo is. We'll have to go on a training trip to get you any further than that though." He then snorted. "Honestly, you could have been roof hopping a couple of months ago at the level of growth you were at, but nobody really took the time to show you how to do so."

"Really?" Akane had a distant look in her eyes, as she imagined herself bouncing from roof to roof with the ease Ranma seemed to display.

Ranma couldn't help but smirk. "Are you going to just stand there, or are you going to open the rest of your gifts?"

The youngest Tendo girl started and set the fans aside. Her next package held a dark blue yukata with a red obi. The material was silk, and it seemed to reflect the light as she held it up.

"I thought you would look really . . . _uncute _. . . in that" Ranma said. Akane jerked her head up, pain and fury in her eyes, to find herself looking into his eyes. There was a glint of humor in those eyes, as well as something else. Something . . . primal.

She broke the stare, aware that her face was heating up in a blush, as Ranma continued in a low voice "Then again, if I said you looked like anything else, the idiot duo would drag another priest into the mix, and I had enough of that fiasco the first time it happened. Last thing we need is a repeat of the fiancé and rival wars."

Kasumi and Nabiki couldn't help but stare at the two of them. Sure, Ranma calling Akane uncute was something of a daily event, but only a deaf man would miss the tone of voice that Ranma had said the word in.

Nabiki shivered for a moment, as she imagined the amount of damage the dojo would take if word got out of this. She had made a slight miscalculation when she had sold the news of the wedding a month and a half ago, and though she managed to bleed the rest of the money needed for repairs from the responsible parties, the damage caused afterwards (to the dojo and to Akane's emotional well-being) was not as easily repaired. She knew for a fact that this scene was not available to anyone outside the four of them.

Akane, after breaking eye contact with her fiancé, dug into her third and final package to find a silk blue, Chinese styled martial arts outfit. The pants were femininely cut, with an elaborate netting design leading up each pants leg. A Chinese dragon was stitched on the back, mouth open and looking fierce. On the front, the Japanese kanji for the word 'horse' was stitched on the left chest area. A scarlet sash belt completed the outfit.

When Akane noticed the kanji, Ranma twitched and looked away. "I uh . . . my traveling companion helped me order this . . . he knew what I had in mind, but he was the one who added the uh . . . "he trailed off.

Akane sat up and smiled at him. "I love it. . . . The kanji is kind of presumptuous, and I won't be able to wear it outside without causing a lot of talk . . . but I love it." Her smile was large, and Ranma couldn't help but smile back, before a mischievous glint came into his eyes.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot!" he exclaimed. He reached his hand into a pocket in his shirt, and brought out a brown book. It was old, but looked to be in good condition. He then turned to Kasumi. "I got this from Doctor Tofu's aunt. Apparently, their family has a rather . . . unusual curse attached to them, and she told me to give this to you." He smirked, before saying "You may want to read this in private."

Kasumi nodded, and then walked out of the kitchen. Nabiki, on the other hand, gave Ranma a curious look. "I didn't know that Doctor Tofu had an aunt . . ."

Ranma's flinch was barely noticeable, but he replied "Well . . . she's kind of a long lost relative, you could say. Apparently, the Doc had an ancestor that was involved in sealing a demon, who cursed him and his male descendants at the last moment. That's why he would freak out whenever Kasumi was around." When both Nabiki and Akane gave him a weird look, he waved his hands in front of him. "I'm serious; his aunt says that the demon hoped that this would keep him and his sons from having any kids, so that he could escape later. Unfortunately for the demon, one of the son's wives found a way to cure it."

Before Nabiki could ask what this cure was, they heard a strangled "Oh my!" from the living room. The three teens ran out to find Kasumi staring at the book, with a bright red blush on her face. As they entered, she looked up and the blush deepened even further. She then turned around and scuttled upstairs heading up to her room.

Her two sisters, on the other hand, blinked twice, and then looked curiously to the lone boy in their midst. Ranma blushed slightly, before saying. "The cure . . . is slightly perverted, and was discovered when the son's wife got tired of waiting on him to get over it. Since then, she made a point to pass the secret of the cure on to her son's true love, when she noticed how he'd react around her. It has been passed down from wife to daughter in law ever since. Every new generation made a point to add something as well, so that book I gave her . . . is a bit more than slightly perverted."

Akane got a suspicious look in her eyes, as she asked "And you know this, why?

Ranma gave her a shaky grin. "Well, when I met her, she kind of assumed I was Kasumi . . . I had been splashed a bit before meeting her . . . and she decided to sit down and try to talk me through it . . . by the time I got her to realize that I wasn't interested in the Doc, and the feeling was mutual, she had already given me the basics!" By this point, Ranma had developed a rather green hue on his face. "She gave me the book for Kasumi after we straightened things out."

Akane cooled down at this. Over Ranma's disappearance, she had realized that she had a habit of jumping to conclusions, which was almost as bad as Ranma's ability to attract the wrong attention. Nabiki on the other hand, had a smirk of her own on her lips. "So Ranma-kun, what exactly did Tofu's aunt talk to you about when she told you this cure?"

Ranma's scowled and looked away. "If you really want to know, go ask to borrow the book from Kasumi, 'cause I am NOT about to repeat that conversation." He let out an involuntary shudder. "I had nightmares for a week after that event. I am not repeating it!"

Nabiki would have pried a bit, but a strong stink of alcohol suddenly entered the room, as two men stumbled in the front door. The first was tall and had black hair and a beard. This was Tendo Soun, the girl's father. The second man was bald and fat. Ranma couldn't help but raise an eye at the fact that his father, Genma, had somehow managed to stumble home without becoming a panda.

He turned to Nabiki and Akane. "My advice: take your stuff up to your rooms and hide it quick. The last thing anyone needs is for those two idiots to pawn it off for drinking money."

This snapped the two girls into action. They both knew that, while their father would never do it on his own, he wouldn't question where Genma, who'd pawn it all at the drop of a hat, got the money for their bar hopping."

As the two girls walked up to their rooms, arms laden with their stuff, Akane looked over to her elder sister. "Nabiki-nee-san, do you think . . . "

"So you think we should look into what Ranma was doing while he was gone too?" Nabiki interrupted.

Akane flinched a bit. "I mean . . . he's acting so different! Don't get me wrong, I kind of like how he acted, but . . . "

"He normally has the tact of a charging rhino, and he's yet to stick his foot into his mouth since he woke up this morning." Nabiki finished for her. At Akane's blush, she continued. "Personally, I'd like to find out what kind of government agency he worked with. Normally, they'd pay with money or something, not in-kind payment like that kimono she was wearing."Both girls nodded, and then split off into their separate rooms.

* * *

When they returned to the kitchen, they found the two fathers sitting at the table, as Ranma came in carrying some black coffee for the hung over idiots. Neither had noticed that Ranma had switched to his/her girl form for this, and she looked up at the two sisters. "Can somebody go knock on Kasumi's door? Her food is just about ready!"

She walked back into the kitchen, and Akane rushed back upstairs to get her eldest sister. When she came back with her, Kasumi had a dazed look on her face, and she let out a very odd giggle. Even the fathers, who had just drained their first cup of coffee, had to look up at that. Ranma-chan walked back in, and noticed their stares. She looked at Kasumi, who had a bit of a blush, and then turned back around, muttering "I don't want to know . . . "

She returned a minute later, carrying several bowls filled with rice and miso soup. She set them down on the table, and then brought out a coffee pot from behind her. "Remind me to thank Mousse for showing me his hidden weapons technique so many times." After filling the two idiots' cups, she brought out a third cup out of the same place she brought out the coffee pot from. She then sat down next to her father, and poured herself a cup.

Genma's eyes turned towards Ranma. "Why are you in that form, boy?" he growled.

Ranma shrugged. "I got splashed while I was in the kitchen, and I thought that it would be easier to change after breakfast. On instinct, her hand flashed out, slapping Genma's hand away from the food, making him yelp in pain. "Wait until it's on your plate, old man."

After everyone had served themselves some breakfast, Genma tried again to raid his 'son's ' food. This time, his yelp was louder, and it left a nasty welt on his hand. Ranma looked over to him, and said in a childish, sing-song voice "Now father, I think it's time for you to go on a diet! First step: eat the food on your own plate, or I will stab my chop sticks through your hand!" All of this was said with a very Kasumi-like smile.

He didn't try a third time, and everyone watched in wordless wonder as Ranma quickly, yet neatly ate her food. She then got up, and walked toward the kitchen to get some hot water.

Nabiki narrowed her eyes. Now she definitely wanted to know what the aqua-transsexual martial artist had been up to while he was out.

* * *

Tell me how you like this. There may not be much in the way of updates for a while; I'm going to be out of town for a bit.

Also, I wouldn't mind a more reviews for chapter two of "The Martial Artist and the Detective". I have no idea how well I did with that, so some feedback would be appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

Leave the poor, broke college student alone. He does not own Naruto or Ranma, and he certainly won't be able to pay you.

Flames will be used to heat my bedroom, as it is frickin' cold down here!

* * *

After breakfast, Nabiki and Akane left the dining room to look for Ranma. They found him outside, working on a Mutsabetsu Kakutou Ryuu kata . . . or at least, that's what it should have been. While the moves had all of Ranma's typical grace and power in them, it didn't really look like his normal fighting style . . .

After a while, the kata ended, and Ranma looked up to find two wide eyed girls staring at him. He blinked. "Is there a reason why y'all are staring at me, or is it just for the hell of it?"

At his question, the two girls jumped, and looked at each other. Looking back, Nabiki asked, "So, Ranma-kun, what's with the new style?"

The martial artist in question shrugged. "I've been meaning to develop my own style for a while now, and it helps that Pop has barely taught me anything recently."

Akane turned her head in confusion. "What? I thought your father taught you martial arts since you were four?"

Ranma snorted. "When he first started, he showed me how to kick and punch. Then we started sparring. Three years later, he tried to teach me the Neko-ken. Most of what I learned came from putting together techniques and styles that I picked up from different dojos. The problem is that most of it was based off of mimicking my old man when we sparred." He then shrugged. "What you just saw was a fighting style without any of my father's style as a basis."

Nabiki looked thoughtful for a moment, and then said, "So all this time that your father spent training you, and instead, you just spent most of your time creating your own style?"

"Yep!"

"So what does this mean for the Saotome-Tendo engagement?"

Akane froze, cold fingers gripping at her heart, but Ranma just smirked. "Well for one, it takes the ability to choose from our idiot fathers."

The two girls looked at him, and he couldn't help but smirk. "We're both kids still and not even eighteen yet! I have I life to live, Akane has a life to live, and the moment we get married, our fathers are going to see to it that every moment of what lives we have left is spent keeping a roof over their heads and sake in their cups. If we are comfortable enough with each other later on, we can get married. Until then, we have no pressure."

Akane blinked at this statement, and was surprised to find part of her thinking '_Was that a yes, or a no?'_ She wasn't sure whether to feel depressed or overjoyed!

Nabiki, on the other hand, was more pragmatic. "And the other fiancés?"

The aqua-transsexual's smirk grew even wider. "Well, most of those agreements asked specifically for the son of Saotome Genma. If something were to happen, like my mother divorcing the bastard and going back to her clan, or me gaining the support of another clan and leaving the name Saotome behind, then I'd only have two legible claims to deal with, rather than fifty-nine of them."

A beat of stunned silence followed that statement, and then Akane couldn't help but ask, "F-fifty-nine? I thought there were only . . . "

Nabiki interrupted. "At my last count, Genma had set up thirty-three legitimate engagements. How'd you come up with nearly sixty of them?"

Ranma looked away. "Eleven or twelve of them belong to parties with girls who are ten years old and younger. They don't matter much now, but they can still come up in six or seven years and bite me in the ass . . . "

"And the remaining fourteen or so?"

The apparent boy shuddered. "They're male."

Akane winced at this, while Nabiki couldn't help but snicker. "So instead of selling off his son, he sold off his daughter, and now you qualify as both!"

Ranma scowled, and looked away petulantly. "Yeah yeah, very funny." He then turned his sight to Akane. "Go use the furo and get cleaned up." His smirk then reappeared. "As soon as I get rid of Shampoo, and you start looking like your old self, we can get started . . . student!"

Both girls blinked again. "But Shampoo isn't . . . " From inside, a crashing sound was heard, as well as a loud, soprano voice calling out "Nihao!"

Nabiki winced. "She's so going to pay for that."

The boy nodded. "Go clean up, and I'll deal with her. With any luck, she'll have her Airen fix and be running back home by the time you're done." He then narrowed her eyes at Akane, who had frozen up at the sound of her main tormentor.

She jumped as he touched her shoulder. "Go clean up, and I'll get rid of her. Give me a few weeks, and then you can return the favor." She nodded unsteadily, and then together, they walked into the house.

* * *

As they went in, Ranma immediately found a tall, purple haired girl around himself. The scowl on his face was evident to the two girls that were with him, but the Chinese Amazon missed it. Akane, before her old temper could rise, immediately ran to the furo, taking comfort in the fact that Ranma had said some rather (unusually) sweet words to her earlier.

"Airen! Shampoo so glad you home! You want to go on date now, yes?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Ranma could see Kasumi frowning at the girl. _Whatever Shampoo did, it obviously wasn't good._

_Time to put Operation: Get rid of the Amazons into action!_

"Shampoo, I don't have time to date you right now, but could you send a message to Cologne please, I have something that she might be interested in."

"What do you have?" Shampoo asked.

"That . . . is a secret!"

Both Shampoo and Nabiki (who was listening in) slammed into the floor. Kasumi, on the other hand, couldn't help but laugh at the two.

"Airen no do that again!" Shampoo demanded. Then, her cheery smile returned to her face. "Shampoo go take message to Great-Grandmother now, then you take Shampoo out on date, yes?"

"We'll take things as they come." Ranma said mysteriously.

"OK then, Shampoo see Airen and Mercenary Girl later then. Bai bai!"

As Shampoo rushed out of the house through the hole she originally came in through, Nabiki couldn't help but give Ranma a questioning glance. "So what, exactly, do you need to see Cologne for?"

Ranma grinned. "My travelling companion for the last month was a history nut, and knew a lot of stuff about different cultures and facts. One of these facts was that the Kiss of Marriage has an out."

Nabiki gasped. "Wait a second . . . I've been through that rulebook of theirs over and over again, and it states . . . "

"It's more of precedence than a rule, so you ain't gonna find it in any book."

The mercenary blinked. "What do you mean 'precedence'?"

The boy smirked. "A couple of centuries ago, a Chinese warrior mage accidentally defeated an Amazon and got kissed. When he spoke to an Elder later, he told her that he was on an important mission of some kind. As the kiss of marriage is a means of strengthening the tribe, he sought to create a different solution, as this was a mage only quest. In return for releasing him of the kiss, he offered to show them how to create a pill that would allow the user to become immune to heat."

"The Phoenix Pill!"

"Correct! In other words, in order to get rid of Shampoo, I have to offer something up that can strengthen the tribe as a whole, and I think I have just the thing!"

Nabiki gave the boy a shrewd stare. "Do you . . . "

The boy grinned. "Trust me, the value of what I have to offer is worth much more than my genes!

* * *

Half an hour later, Elder Cologne of the Chinese Amazons came across an unusual sight . . . even by Neriman standards!

Within the Tendo dojo, Akane was practicing katas under Ranma's supervision. What was so unusual about it was that Ranma was actively fixing everything from the girls balance, the way she moved, and how her blocks and strikes were positioned . . .

. . . and Akane wasn't complaining about it!

What was even odder was Ranma's passive Chi signature. While it looked normal at first, after examining it for a while, it seemed . . . older . . . than it should be. Also, the way it moved seemed like it was being suppressed . . . but that was impossible, as no one outside of Jusendo Valley could have taught him how to do that . . .

And then, there was a slight difference in how it felt . . . Cologne couldn't tell what it was, but she knew it was there . . .

As Cologne pondered these things, Ranma stepped back, nodded at Akane (who then started the kata over again), and turned towards her . . . despite the fact that she was hiding her ki signature from the boy!

"You gonna come down here, or should I go up there?" He called out.

Hiding her surprise, Cologne leapt from the roof, landing right next to the young male. "Shampoo said that you wished to speak to me, son-in-law. While I must say that I am glad to see you return, I am curious as to what you want to see me for . . . "

Ranma grinned, and then, with a flick of his wrist, he held a red orb of glass, about half a foot long.

Cologne inspected the orb for a minute. After she was done, she looked back up at Ranma, confused.

"I apologize, Son-in-Law, but I do not . . . "

A sudden flash ripped through her eyesight, and before she knew it, a torrent of fire seemed had replaced Ranma. As the old Amazon Elder looked on in shock, she soon noticed that the flames weren't consuming Ranma. Instead, they were surrounding him, and they seemed to spread from the orb in his hands.

"Behold, one of the long lost treasures of Zuo Ci: the Hi Yuki Tama! This Orb of Fire was one of his greatest weapons, and holds the ability to put you and your tribe on a more equal footing with Saffron, the next time he tries for succession." He then grinned at the astonished Elder and the rest of the household, which had come out to see what was going on. "And it can be yours, for one easy payment!"

Cologne looked at him in shock and awe. From what she could see and feel, the flames were hot enough to consume flesh and bone in an instance, but it didn't affect Ranma at all! It couldn't even be pinned on the Phoenix Pill, which would have only affected Ranma, and not any of his clothing!

"Wha . . . what do you want for it, so-son-in-law?" She finally stuttered out.

Ranma smirked. "Call off the engagement to Shampoo, and it's yours!" When Cologne's mouth slammed shut, he added "If you think the other Elders may have a promise with this, tell them that there is precedence, and I'd be willing to through in a few other . . . items that I might have picked up in the last month . . . as well as a promise to ally with your tribe on the condition that it doesn't force me to leave Japan, or fight in any needless wars."

The ancient woman stood there in silence, watching as the flames grew in height, intensity, and power. Finally, she croaked out "I . . . I will have to speak with the other Elders about this . . . "

"Then go. This and several other artifacts will be waiting for you."

Almost reluctantly, she leapt away, and the firestorm surrounding Ranma instantly died out. He then turned towards the dojo and looked at his student/fiancé. "Are you just going to stand there, or are we going to get back to training?"

At his comment, everyone scattered back to what they were doing, and Ranma smirked, and then followed Akane back into the dojo.

* * *

After about two hours, Ranma and Akane left the dojo. Ranma was upbeat, while Akane, while happy that she was getting trained, was also rather annoyed at the level they had started with.

Finally, she asked "Ranma, not that I don't like finally getting proper training, but why did we have to review breathing control and my stances? I mean, that is so basic it's not even funny!"

Ranma smiled at his fiancé. "It's about time you asked; I was expecting something from you when we started practice." At her scowl, his smile turned into a smirk. "Your father may have taught you the basics before your mom died, but he's done nothing since then. Certain changes have happened since then."

"Like?"

"Like those things on your chest for one." Akane immediately blanched at this statement, but Ranma carried on. "Once puberty hit ya, your reach, balance, and height all changed. For a little girl, your stances and aiming would be solid, but you are taller, and having breasts, even small ones, would dramatically change anyone's balance; and before you get all defensive all me, remember: I speak from experience!"

Akane blinked, stunned at the way that Ranma not only explained himself, but managed to divert her anger. "And the breathing control?"

"It's a ki control exercise. After you learn enough meditation, you'll be able to actually feel your ki ebb and flow with your breathing. After you manage that, we can work on techniques that utilize it subconsciously, and work up from there."

Akane nodded, and then followed Ranma into the house. As they neared the door, Akane looked towards the boy, and asked "Ranma . . . where did you find that orb thingy that you showed Cologne?"

"As I said before, my travelling companion on my trip was a bit of a history nut, and had a habit of travelling to different places on a whim. He had some business in Mongolia, and while we were there, we came across some trinkets that were left there. Apparently, back when the Mongolians were invading China, they ended up taking a bunch of stuff that wasn't theirs. The Hi Yuki Tama was just one of them."

"And he was over on the continent, why?" Both Ranma and Akane jerked around to find Nabiki behind them, who had obviously listened in on the conversation.

At her question, all amusement fled from Ranma's face, and with a blank look, he told her "That information is classified under International Law."

"And if I were to try and look into it?" she purred.

"Ranma's look remain blank. "It would be better if you do not."

"How come?"

"Because I don't know if I would be able to protect you from them."

This statement sent a sudden shudder through both sisters' spines. Ranma was usually very confident; for him to admit that he couldn't do something . . . even hypothetically . . .

It was a chilling thought.

As Ranma walked back into the house, both girls couldn't help but wonder, not for the last time, what must have happened during that trip.

* * *

That afternoon, after berating a sobbing Soun about how he should have done at least some follow up training with his youngest daughter, Ranma stood on top of the roof, watching the clouds.

"Nice view." Ranma turned around to face a girl, approximately his age, with pink hair and green eyes. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a plain black T-shirt.

"Yeah, it is. What are you doing out here?" He asked.

"I got bored waiting for you to call me. I must admit though, life is rather interesting around here."

You've checked everyone's energy levels, then?"

The girl grinned. "Yep! So many high leveled people here! If need be, I could feed off of them for a while."

They stood out there for a time, just watching the sky, until the girl spoke again. "Ranma . . . "

"Yeah?"

"Please don't let there be a need . . . "

"I'll try."

A beat of silence went by, and then Ranma and the girl heard Kasumi call up that lunch was ready. The girl's image then faded into nothing, as Ranma leapt off the roof and ran inside . . .

Leaving one very confused mercenary standing in her room . . .

* * *

Lunch was a rather unusual event that day. For one thing, it was running late, as Kasumi didn't pay any interest in how much time passed while she was reading a certain book. Also, while she was content to put it down to cook, she was loath to put it down to do anything else, and nearly tripped as she brought out a pitcher of cold tea. Ranma, now female, insisted that she sit down, and then brought the rest of the food out herself.

Ranma sat down to eat, shooting a dirty glare at her father, who had tried, once again, to steal food off of her plate, and who had, also once again, ended up with a welt on his hand. Both he and Akane made a point to ignore Kasumi, who was giggling rather perversely while reading the book. After a minute, Nabiki leaned over to look at what she was reading. After a few seconds, she immediately leaned back with a rather large blush on her face.

Finally, Genma could take it no longer. "Boy, I am your father! We will continue our meal training now, and you will stop acting like a weak little girl this instant!"

All three Tendo sisters looked up at the fat old man, and none of their looks were happy. Ranma, however just snorted. "Oh come off it Pops, or go back to Ancient Greece. Better yet, just go already!"

As everyone turned their eyes towards him, Ranma rolled his eyes. "The ancient Greeks believed that women were physically and mentally weak and susceptible to baser urges then men were. They were basically used for bearing children. In fact, had we lived in Greece during those days, all three of you would have been sold off for marriages, and only Kasumi would have a decent time of it, considering that she is the only woman here who would fit the image of the ideal Greek female."

The rest of the table blinked at him, as Nabiki cleared her throat. "I'm guessing that this travelling companion of yours told you about this?"

"Yeah, and he once told me that my father would be the ideal Greek man back in those days. Actually made me take comfort in the fact that we weren't raised under those conditions; otherwise I might have been sold off to the nearest whorehouse after I got cursed."

As most of the table sent rather negative glares towards a paling Genma (who had secretly had thoughts like that just after Jusenkyo), Akane asked "But what about the Greek Goddesses? The Greeks supposedly had a lot of respect for them, and they were female . . . "

The aqua-transsexual snorted. "Despite their attitudes, the ancient Greeks feared women for their cunning minds and ability to bring new life into this world. Much of their beliefs tend to stem from that. Of their Goddesses, only half of them were treated with any true respect by males. Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, was a slut by our standards, and Hera, wife to the God Zeus and Goddess of Marriage, was the ultimate bitchy housewife. Demeter, Goddess of the Harvest, was only respected due to the fact that she was responsible for all things growing."

"The other three were only given their positions of respect after swearing off sex and becoming permanent virgins. Athena, Goddess of Wisdom, was Zeus' favorite, and had a habit of helping heroes in need. Hestia, Goddess of the Hearth, wasn't very popular in those days, as only women paid her any attention, and Artemis, Goddess of the hunt . . . let's just say that I'd pity the fool who dared to walk in on her while she was taking a bath, as her past track record with those men hadn't left many survivors."

As he reached the end of his monologue, Ranma noticed the shell-shocked looks that everyone had given him. He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, if any teacher had made a point to make history as meaningful as the Doctor had made it sound like, I would have done a lot better on most of my history tests."

"The Doctor?" Nabiki was keen enough to catch Ranma's slip, but he obviously knew that it wasn't much to go on.

"That's what he called himself. Never told anyone his real name, though he was partial to the alias 'John Smith'."

As most of the table paused to consider this new tidbit (Genma having gone into his 'cute little panda' act), Akane snorted. "Most of the class is going to be planning for the apocalypse when you come back to school."

Ranma couldn't help but blink at this statement. "How come?"

"Hinako-sensei is going over Greek and Roman Civilizations next week."

* * *

In another country, far to the west of Japan, many things were taking place.

A young African American woman was being briefed on certain emergency situations that were taking place in the Land of the Rising Sun.

The adopted mother of an extraordinary young boy was looking at astrology reports that NASA would love to get their hands on, and finding worrisome bits of data that she did not like.

A middle aged scientist was boarding a plane under an assumed identity, looking to regain her errant experimental guinea pig.

Light years away, on another world, a young girl prays for the return of her people's savior, who saved them from slavery.

Back in Japan, a series of robotic minds wait for the day they can begin the assimilation of the human race.

And somewhere, somewhere deep within the outer reaches of time and space, a man sneezed, and knew, just KNEW, that his luck would end up bringing him back to Japan . . . because it was never that good. . .

* * *

COMING UP NEXT: A week passes, a photo shows up that turns a few heads, a slightly unwelcome phone call arises. Plus, several old crones decide not to leave things alone like they should. Stay tuned!

Yes, the last posted chapter of The Martial Artist and the Great Detective is missing. Blame that on my enthusiasm with my last chapter of The Trouble with Past Lives. I can't find the old file, so unless someone out there saved it, I will have it rewritten and reposted sometime soon.

My muse has returned momentarily to this old project. I have no idea how long she will stay, but I hope it's for a long, long time.

Just in case I don't get it out before then, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy New Year . . . and Merry Whatever it is that atheists celebrate.

Later!


	3. Chapter 3

I have a lot of free time on my hands, so don't take this as my new standard update pattern; it will not hold.

I own nothing, especially not Ranma or Doctor Who. Go bug Britain and Japan if you want to find out how you can.

Flames will be tossed in the fireplace and used to keep my family and I warm.

* * *

School that week was an interesting fiasco. The very moment Ranma set foot on the grounds of Furikan High School, change began to happen . . .

"Halt, foul sorcerer!"

And it started with Kuno Tatewaki.

Ranma had been gone for a little over a month, and Kuno was overjoyed at this. However, his pigtailed goddess also vanished, making Kuno grind his teeth in fury at the 'foul sorcerer's evil deed'.

Then Akane hid herself in her room after her crushing defeat at the hands of Shampoo a week and a half later and Kuno went crazy. The rest of the students took to avoiding him when he started attacking random people, thinking that they were Ranma in disguise.

Thus, when Ranma and Akane entered Furikan, Kuno was there, ready and waiting.

Right after shouting his challenge, Kuno charged, his steel katana at the ready. He had been working on his speed all month, so when he moved, no one, not even Akane, could see his blade move . . .

However, they did see when it stopped moving . . . right between Ranma's index finger and thumb.

Akane looked stunned. As she stared at the scene, she unconsciously noted that Ranma's finger tips were glowing with ki, and that Kuno's sword wasn't moving, despite his efforts otherwise.

"Behold," Kuno finally panted out, "the foul sorcerer shows his true colors!"

Ranma gave him a look, and then said, "Actually, I learned this from a sword master over in Kanto."

Akane and Nabiki, who had decided to escort Ranma to school today, blinked at this, but that wasn't the odd part. What was odd, was what came out of Ranma's mouth next. "Then again, a dishonorable cur like yourself would not know that, would you?"

The girls were stunned, but Kuno was outraged. "How DARE you! I am FAR more honorable that you shall ever be!"

Ranma scowled at Kuno, and then straightened his back. "How dare I? HOW DARE?!? I have travelled the paths of honor far longer than you ever drew a sword, Kuno!"

"Then release my fair tigress and my pigtailed goddess from thy spell, foul one!"

With an indignant look, Ranma exclaimed, "Spell? What spell? Why would I put a spell my own sister?"

Kuno jerked back, as if stunned. "S-sister . . . wha-"

"Yes, she is my sister, and is far more closely related to me than my own mother and father! Is it not my right, as her brother, to protect her from disreputable bastards such as yourself?"

"What?!? How dare you speak for my pigtailed goddess like that! Why not let her choose for herself?"

Ranma let out a laugh. "My sister is far more likely to seek comfort in the arms of your fair tigress than a disgusting maggot such as yourself. Why, she is far more likely to seek comfort in your SISTER, as insane as she may be, than to seek comfort from thee!"

Kuno froze, comprehension dawning on his face. He may have been insane and delusional, but no one could ever say that he was unintelligent. "What . . . you mean that she is-"

"A lesbian? One who seeks love and comfort in the arms of other maidens? Why yes, I do."

"NO, That cannot be! I Kuno Tatewaki, the Blue Thunder of Furikan High, will not allow-urk!"

Ranma latched onto Kuno's shirt collar with a vice-like grip, halting his tirade. "How do you plan on stopping her, huh? Who are you to insult her choice, when you were trying to defend her right to choose in the same breath? Do you plan on forcing yourself onto her, like you tried to do to Akane? Do you plan to add rapist to your list of dishonorable titles, huh? HUH?"

"N-No! I would never . . . I could never . . . "

Ranma was on a roll. "Would never what? Did you have any idea what calling upon the student body in a challenge for Akane's hand would do? Every single male in the school came to try to defeat her. Do you think, that if one of them were to defeat her, that they would stop there? Do you think that she thought that you would stop at just one date? She feared for her honor, her chastity! You made her fear and hate most of the males that surround her. If it were not for me coming when I did, and helping to end the Hentai Horde for good, you might have driven her to seek the same comforts that my sister seeks: that of another fair maiden!"

He then threw Kuno to the floor, leaving him to lay there, mouth agape in horror at the possible consequences of his own actions. However, Ranma did not stop there. As he walked past him, stalking his way towards the front doors of the school, he stopped long enough to turn his head and say, "Beware, Kuno, for if you do not halt your quest for the hands of my sister and the fair Akane, you might cause them both to seek comfort in the arms of each other!" Then he was gone.

Akane and Nabiki, along with everyone who was there at the time, watched this. Then, as if one, both sisters rushed after the Saotome heir.

They found him just inside the doors, laughing his head off. When he noticed that they had come in after him, he said, "Man, did you guys see Kuno's face? God, I should have taken a picture or something! Bwahahahaha!"

Akane tried several times to say something, but her mouth would not allow sound to leave it. Finally, she managed to ask, "Wha . . . What was that?"

Ranma managed to stop laughing, but the smirk on his face was a mile wide. "The Doctor once told me, and for the record, these are his exact words: 'In order to negotiate properly with a King, one must be able to speak his language, both intrinsically, and extrinsically.'"

Nabiki, who had overcome her shock, eyed the aqua-transsexual shrewdly, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Extrinsic refers to the King's language. You can't expect to be able to talk with a French King using Japanese, can you?"

"And what about 'intrinsically'?" Akane asked.

"That means that you can't speak to a king like you would speak to a peasant; you've got to have a lot of that pomp and respect and stuff."

The older Tendo nodded. "I see . . . what would you have to do to be able to negotiate with Kuno?"

At this question, Ranma lost his smirk, and then shuddered. "You have to try and play by the rules of his delusional imagination: he thinks he is some sort of samurai, as well as some sort of white knight for his 'fair maidens'. Therefore, to get him to listen, you would have to speak in terms of honor, both his and that of those he lusts after."

"You know, you seem to alternate from normal to educated a lot. Anything you want to tell us?"

Ranma smirked. "Most of the educated stuff comes straight from the Doctor; hang around him long enough, and you tend to learn a lot of random stuff; sometimes it's useful, other times, well . . . "

"And if Kuno shrugs this off like everything else?"

Ranma grinned at this. "That's the thing: Kuno can't just shrug this off without leaving a gaping hole in his delusions. Either he accepts things as they are now, or he ends up tasting reality for the first time in who knows how long; either way, he'll never bother us again, except maybe to apologize."

Akane nodded at this, cocked her head for a moment, and then said, "Nabiki, don't you usually have someone taping the morning spars?"

"I actually installed a few cameras around the schoolyard; it took too much sometimes to get the fights, so I thought it would be better to try to cover as much of the area as possible. Why?"

"I wonder how much people would pay to see Kuno get taken down a peg . . ."

Ranma let out a laugh, and Nabiki grew a fox-grin, and the three of them rushed back to class.

* * *

Cologne stood on top of a roof across from the school, quietly pondering what she just saw. Ranma verbally crushing Kuno was funny, but what interested her more was the way he used his ki to block Kuno's blade. Very few ki users ever got to that point of control, and most of them were older than dirt!

All she could do was pray that her sisters did the right thing, because if Ranma could control his ki that well, who knows what else he could do?

* * *

In the country of China, a few from Jusenkyo, seven old crones met. Each had the power to take on small armies, and together, they were in charge of the Chinese Amazon tribes.

And today, they were discussing the fate of one individual: one powerful enough to take on Saffron, the leader of the Phoenix Tribe, and survive. One who had taken on Herb, Prince of the Musk Tribe, and win!

One who was coming close to the level they had reached, and it took them three hundred years to get to this level!

"We should go and bring him back ourselves! He is one of the most powerful males we have ever seen! His genes will make our tribe unstoppable!" one old crone said.

"He's too powerful, and he'll only get stronger by the day. We cannot risk it!" retorted another.

"Pah! It will take him at least a few more years to get to our level. We can easily apprehend him."

"But we have no idea how many magical artifacts that he may have on him! He may have something that can even the grounds between us," a third Elder cut in.

"All seven of us, plus Elder Ku Lon? Impossible! I told you what we should do after we got word that he took Herb down: lock his curse, brainwash her, and then marry him off to one of the other males in the village!" yelled a fourth.

Six of the elders bickered back and forth about this, as the meeting drew longer and longer. Finally, after twenty minutes of constant yelling and shoving, the seventh Elder, the oldest one they had among them, spoke: "Quiet!"

As the others fell into silence, she continued. "We shall go to Japan, and evaluate the problem. If it is still salvageable by any means, then we shall take him down, and bring him back with us. However, if we cannot, then we will cut our losses and negotiate. At best, we stand a chance at getting some of the most potent genetics in the world for our tribe, and at worst, we have a good ally. Anyone disagree?"

The other six bowed their heads in agreement, and the meeting ended shortly afterwards.

* * *

The oddness that was Ranma did not end at handling Kuno. All throughout the day, he scared the teachers silly by paying attention in class and answering questions when asked. In History, for example, the teacher was shocked into silence when Ranma answered a question concerning the Ancient Greeks, and nearly fainted when he lead a comprehensive discussion on how they ran their society.

In Biology, when he answered a question concerning the immune system correctly, the professor started calling on him consistently, and every question got harder and harder until the point where he was asking questions that were in his college anatomy exam.

Mathematics was a bit less of a shock, but Ranma did make the teacher nervous with his attention, and their English and Japanese classes were only marginally better. However, the greatest surprise of all came during Gym, when instead of going out and joining the rest of the class, he leapt up to a tree and took a nap!

When confronted afterwards, Ranma explained, "I'm one of the toughest martial artists in Nerima; do I really need to go through a class designed to test how fit I am?"

When the day ended, the teachers were looking at getting the first plane ticket out of Japan, and Hinako-sensei herself was cowering in a bathroom stall.

All in all, this was one weird day, even by Nerima standards.

After school, Akane and Ranma were walking home when a familiar bicycle bell rang in the air. Akane rolled her eyes, expecting to see the bimbo land on Ranma, crushing him with unwanted lust, but when she looked back, she saw her land the bike on an empty spot of fence. Noticing movement to her side, she turned her head back to see Ranma, walking like he had walked on the sidewalk from the beginning.

When Shampoo tried to lunge at him for an Amazon Glomp, Akane felt an arm snake around her waist, and then felt a tug and a rush of force all over her body. Next thing she knew, they were walking on the other side of the street!

Shampoo, scared and confused, rushed back to her Great-Grandmother to report what happened. Meanwhile, Akane and Ranma made it back to the dojo, with the tomboy dazed and confused.

"Finally, she could not hold her tongue any longer. Pulling back from Ranma, whose arm was still wrapped around her (which accounted for her blush), she looked at him and asked him, "What the Hell was that?"

Ranma, giving off a potent smirk, replied "Shunpo."

"Shunpo?"

"Yep! It's a speed technique, that allows for the user to move faster than any eye can see. Very potent, very dangerous stuff. Give me a year, and you ought to be where I can teach you."

Akane froze, eyes glazed over. To be able to move at those speeds in battle . . . Ranma soon found him jerked into the house, as Akane rushed off to change into her sparring outfit. In fact, she very nearly didn't let him go before they reached her room!

* * *

This carried on all week. Ranma stunned teachers left and right, several new substitutes came in on Wednesday, and Kuno never showed up at all!

On Thursday, Ukyo, who Ranma had ignored all week, got curious and asked Nabiki what was going on. The reply she got was less than fulfilling.

On Friday morning, however, Nabiki came down from her room smiling like the cat that caught the canary. She greeted Kasumi and the fathers, who were playing an early round of Mahjong, and then headed for the table. She found Ranma and Akane getting ready for school.

"Say, Ranma, I found something interesting online last night, and I was wondering if you could verify it for me." Without preamble, she showed both Akane and Ranma (who had gotten splashed with a cup of cold tea) a printed picture.

It showed three figures: the center one was male, with short brown hair, a casual suit, and glasses. On one side was a black woman wearing a red cocktail dress. On the other side . . .

. . . a familiar redheaded figure had her arm around the male, wearing a black cocktail dress and with her hair and makeup done.

Akane stared at the picture in shock, but Ranma just looked and smirked. "My, I didn't know they had taken pictures of that; me and Martha cut quite a picture."

Her bluenette fiancé whipped her head around. "Who?"

"We had to sneak into a party to investigate something, so Martha, the Doctor, and I got dressed up and snuck in. We had to look the part, and redheads in tuxedos just would have stuck out like a sore thumb."

Akane blinked at that. "Oh . . . that makes sense."

Nabiki, on the other hand, was nonplussed. "Any particular reason why this picture was taken in London, three and a half weeks ago?"

Ranma shrugged. "Take my habit of running into chaos with Ryoga's unique ability to wander from Japan to New York in twenty paces, and put them together in one person. That's the Doctor." She then stared into her eyes with a serious look. "Please do not try to dig into Martha's background; she works for a highly secretive branch of the British Government, and they have branches in several other countries, including Japan. You do NOT want to mess with them."

She then walked into the kitchen, leaving Akane and Nabiki to their surprise.

* * *

That afternoon, he dropped by Ucchan's, Ukyo's restaurant to talk to her. She had been silent all week, but had continued to shoot him worried looks. After having a custom made Okonimiyaki (titled 'The Ranchan Special), Ranma started talking.

"Look Ukyo, I'd like to thank you for how you helped Akane while I was gone. It would have been really bad if you hadn't done anything."

Ukyo blushed, and told him, "Aw, it was nothing Ranchan; even though we are rivals in love, Akane and I are still friends."

The pigtailed boy couldn't help but grimace. "Yeah, about that . . . look, I know my father stole your dowry, but-"

Ukyo interrupted him. "I'm really sorry about the wedding. I didn't mean to come and mess things up, but when Nabiki told me about it, I was just so jealous and depressed and . . . I didn't know what I was doing . . . and . . . " Tears started falling from her eyes, and Ranma had to wrap his arm around her.

They sat there for several minutes, watched only by a few customers (it was between the lunch and dinner rushes) and Konatsu, Ukyo's friend and waiter, and one of the few romantic rivals Ranma had that didn't go crazy and attack him, just because he was engaged to the person they loved/lusted after.

After a few minutes, Ukyo managed to get a hold of herself, and backed up, apologizing. Ranma shrugged it off, and tried to continue where he left off. "I know that you are technically engaged to me and seem to love me, but I don't love you, not in the way you want it."

Ukyo stood, as if stunned, as Ranma continued. "You were my first friend in the whole entire world, and I loved you like a sibling. It didn't matter that I never knew the difference between a man and a woman until I had to start dragging Pops out of Strip Clubs at the age of eight; I remember looking up at the stars at night and wondering how my old buddy Ucchan was doing. You were honestly the closest thing I ever had to a brother!" Ranma explained, and then chuckled, "At least until I found out that you were more like my sister, I mean . . . "

Ukyo stood there, quivering. At first, Ranma thought she was going to explode, but after a minute, she seemed to collapse upon herself. When Ranma tried to look into her face, he found eyes of resignation, sobbing out tears. "I knew that this day would come," she whispered, "I tried to prepare myself, but every time I thought about it . . . every time . . . "

Warm arms wrapped around her, and she found herself sobbing into Ranma's breast again. By the time she came out of it, Konatsu had taken the liberty of showing what few customers they had to the door, and was sitting nearby. Ranma, on the other hand, was inexplicably female, and rather bemused as well.

"You know, I never knew that the curse would react if enough tears were used," Ranma chuckled.

Ukyo couldn't help but let out a snort at this, as she dried her eyes, and Ranma's face took a look of seriousness that neither she nor Konatsu had ever seen. "You know, marrying me may solve your problems with your father, but it would be like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. My father has set up about sixty different fiancés for me, including you, and they are all going to come looking for me, married or not. And if that weren't bad enough, you'd have to deal with Pops trying to mooch off of us, and causing us all sorts of messes. You are far better off without Saotome Ranma in your life."

"But what about Akane? Don't you plan on marrying her someday?"

Ranma raised an eyebrow delicately, and with a bemused smile, asked, "And you think that I'd pick Akane over Shampoo, why?"

Ukyo snorted. "Oh, like you would ever marry that Chinese bimbo. I've seen the way you look when she latches on to you; you are as uncomfortable as hell, and you'd never tie yourself down to her village, ever!"

She then took on a sorrowful expression. "Question is, what am I supposed to do now? Father won't let me come home without you dead or married to me, and I have nothing else to live for now . . . "

Ranma looked stricken for a moment, and then wrapped Ukyo in another hug. "Live for? Why not live for your work, or how about Konatsu? The poor guy idolizes you as if you were the Emperor of Japan!" Konatsu blushed bright red at this comment, but Ranma ignored him. "If something were to happen to you, he wouldn't know what to do!"

"As for being clanless," she continued, "I just so happen to know a few things that my mother would not like to hear about my father. I give her enough information, and we may have a new panda-skin rug, or at the very minimum, a few divorce papers. Either way, I will no longer be a Saotome, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind having a real daughter, rather than half of one."

Her 'cute' ex-fiancé looked at her with shock written all over her face, and then, softly, asked, "You . . . you'd do that for me?"

Ranma grinned, "Of course I'd do that for you! After all, why wouldn't I want you as my sister officially? I'd take Konatsu as well, if it wouldn't put a crimp in his chances to woo you!"

"R-Ranma-sama, please!" begged Konatsu, unable to take any more teasing.

All it did was make the redhead grin. "Well, I better go, before I make Ko-chan faint from too much blushing. Catch you guys later!" she then walked over to the door, and left both cook and waiter staring at each other in embarrassment.

* * *

Things fell into a slightly similar pattern as they did before Ranma left on his trip, minus a few differences. In fact, Akane barely even noticed as another week went by. Ranma trained with her, and her fighting skills soared as a result. Ukyo and Konatsu started coming over, and didn't even try to woo Ranma, and the fathers stayed out of it, for fear of earning Ranma's wrath. After the first morning fight, when Genma ended up in the koi pond five times in a period of two minutes, Genma knew not to push things.

Shampoo continued coming around, but Cologne kept sending Ranma curious glances. Mousse was also around, but stayed out of things. He already owed his next four paychecks to Nabiki, he did not want any more debt in his name.

In fact, it was nearly a week and a half before something else could be added to Ranma's list of weird changes.

The day started off with Nabiki looking over some information she had scavenged concerning the so-called 'Doctor'. She found several different sources that detailed a few sightings of him, but they were so disjointed that it wasn't even funny!

She heard someone knock on the front door, and ignored it. She grew kind of curious when Kasumi called for Ranma to come downstairs to greet someone looking for him, but didn't think it of much importance. She decided to check the hidden cameras anyways.

She caught the image of Ranma coming out the front door to meet . . . a black woman in a business suit. Nabiki grabbed the photo she had printed out earlier, and compared them.

Ranma was greeting Martha Jones, the mystery woman from the photo, in front of her own house!

* * *

COMING UP NEXT: Ranma gets an important mission, and finds himself with a few tag-alongs. Danger is involved, and Ranma is forced to showcase a few skills that he really should not have. Plus, a few old hags arrive to see what the deal is with Ranma. Stay tuned!


	4. Chapter 4

Just recently saved part of this from some backed up files that I just recently found from my old hard drive. Sorry for the delay. Hopefully a beta steps up soon, 'cause I really don't like making mistakes in grammar or continuity. Problem is, proofreading my own brand is harder than I thought it would be.

For the record, I am a poor, out of work college student. I have not a cent to my name. If this goes on, I won't be able to eat for a while. Why would I be in this situation if I actually owned two great series like Ranma ½ and Doctor Who?

Enjoy, and I really would appreciate a few more detailed reviews. It tends to help my ego and my muse when people leave feedback and ask questions about the future.

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Ranma was coming back inside the house from the dojo when he felt a familiar ki signature. At the same time, he heard Kasumi call him to the front door.

"Thanks Kasumi, I can handle this," he told her, as he walked up. He then took one of Martha's arms, and then dragged her over to the front gate. "You know, you could have called ahead, Martha-chan."

"What, no hello?" the woman smirked at her, "Come on, it's not that big of a deal, is it?"

"With Akane, no; she's gotten better with her temper. The old idiots, on the other hand, may cause a bit of problems. What I'm really worried about is Nabiki. She has already started asking questions that may or may not lead her into trouble, and I don't know if I have enough pull to get her out of it."

"Yeah, about that . . . "

Ranma froze, and then gave a shaky look at her. "Please tell me . . . "

"Fine then, I won't."

Ranma whimpered, "Please tell me she's not on her way here . . . "

Martha patted the boy's shoulder. "Now don't worry, a few of the higher ups managed to get her laid over in Moscow for another week, and we're trying to come up with a way to get her held up at customs, but I don't think you'll have much pull with them after that; most of them are looking at this as their way of paying you back for saving our arses a couple of weeks ago . . . "

The young aqua-transsexual whimpered again, "But I don't wanna be a guinea pig for that . . . that . . . "

The young woman sighed; she hoped this next news would be a bit better for him . . . "However, you might be able to get a little more leverage. I'm not exactly here for a vacation, you know."

Her friend snorted at this, "I kind of figured that; last time I checked, UNIT wasn't into giving vacation hours . . . So, what is it this time?"

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" . . . So, what is it this time?"

Nabiki sat in her room, headphones on her head. It was often joked that there were cameras all over the house, gathering info for her to use. This was untrue; the only camera she had was for the front door.

She did, however, having listening devices hooked up all over the yard, in the dojo, and in the dining room, in the hopes of picking up drunken plans that may or may not be remembered by the idiot duo.

She was now wondering whether listening into this conversation was a good thing.

Martha's voice rang out over the receiver. "There has been a disappearance; one of the members of Parliament had decided to take his wife and young daughter for a Japanese vacation. As part of the activities, they were to take a day hike in a traditional Japanese forest. That was a little under a week ago, and we have yet to hear from them."

Ranma: "And they need my help because . . .

Martha: "A few days ago, they found the body of a member of their protection unit; the body was nothing more than a dried husk, but there are no signs of anyone draining any fluid whatsoever. However, one of our Japanese agents ran a sensor scan on it, with the new calibrations that you helped us with . . . "

Ranma: "Hold on a sec . . . are you saying . . .

Martha: "That the body was drained of ki?"

Ranma: ". . . Damn it!"

Martha: "I'm assuming you have seen this before?"

Ranma: "I'll have to see the body, but it sounds exactly like . . . wait, how old was the girl, this daughter?"

Martha: "Around four years old. Why?"

Ranma: "If this is what I think it is, then the parents and any other adult are already dead. However, I think the girl is young enough to possibly be alive, if she managed to find some water out there, that is. Young children only start generating the standard amount of ki between ages five and seven. Even so, we need to move fast; I can't really make any guarantees, so the sooner, the better."

Martha: "Anything special that we need to bring?"

Ranma: "Any kind of portable freezing weapons, if you have them. If not, you can borrow some of mine."

Martha: "For the record, I did not hear that, and you did not say that, got it?"

Ranma: "Got it. You have a car around here?"

Martha: "I'll go pull it around."

Footsteps could be heard over the receiver, and Nabiki hastily moved to delete her computer based records of this; she had a feeling that nothing good could come from having such evidence.

However, what she didn't count on was that there were other ears around. Inside the house, a panda's ears twitched as it listened in.

Across the street, a yellow and pink cat did the same.

Konatsu, having been asked to keep an eye on things over at the Tendo Dojo, headed back to base to tell Ukyo what he had overheard.

Akane, on the other hand, was hanging out with Ukyo, after hearing of Ranma's plan for saving her honor.

The problem with Nerima is that, when something interesting happens, even in secret . . .

There are always ears listening in . . .

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"We shouldn't be here," Akane tried telling Ukyo, "Ranma said he did a lot of top secret work with the government; this may be something like that!"

"I don't care!" Ukyo retorted, "Even if he doesn't love me like I want him to, Ranma is the most important person in my life right now, and I don't want him getting hurt!"

Nabiki sighed. Somehow or other, she had gotten shanghaied by her father into watching Ranma and 'this new girl'. Then again, it was either that, or the fathers would go in her place, and she'd rather not have them getting into trouble with the government; they'd just make things worse.

On the way there, she ran into Ukyo and Akane. For business purposes, Ukyo had bought a small car, and they had used it to follow Ranma.

Closer to the forest, they had come across a couple of roadblocks, but as martial artists, Akane and Ukyo had managed to get them across. This was unfortunate to Nabiki, as she had figured she could have used this as an excuse to go back.

"What Spatula Girl, Kitchen Destroyer, and Mercenary Girl doing here?" they heard Shampoo growl. Whirling around, the three girls found themselves face to face with the Amazon, who had ridden her bike up this way; Cologne stood behind her, watching the action.

Akane tensed. She knew that she wasn't ready to take Shampoo on yet, but with Ukyo, who had swung her battle spatula in front of her in defense, she might just have a chance.

Nabiki, on the other hand, sighed. "Same thing you are doing, apparently. I swear, I really need to start insulating the walls of the dojo!"

Cologne cackled, "Now, now, is there any need to squabble? We are, after all, here for the same reasons . . . "

The teenage mercenary delicately raised an eyebrow at the old woman. " . . . And that is?"

"Information, of course!"

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"So, just to make things clear . . . this woman is not interested in having son-in-law as a fiancé, she works for the government, and Ranma is merely working with them as well?" Cologne asked.

"That is correct," Nabiki sighed. They had been walking for hours. Martha had only shown up a little after noon, and she really wasn't in shape enough to walk for long distances through the woods.

_Hell, the sun is practically setting!_ She thought.

She had managed to explain some things to the others about what was going on, including some (publically known) facts about the UNIT that had Cologne worried and frustrated with Shampoo. Apparently, she had been told that Ranma had gone off with a new fiancé. Akane, on the other hand, had not realized that Konatsu was talking about Martha at the time, and was a bit concerned.

Suddenly, rustling was heard up ahead. As the martial artists prepared for a skirmish, they were surprised to find Martha Jones bursting out from the bushes at a run. She skidded to a stop at the sight of them. "What the bloody hell are you lot doing here?"

Before Nabiki could open her mouth to explain, Ranma burst out from the tree line, covered in leaves and dirt, and holding onto a small child with blond hair. Landing roughly, he looked at those gathered, and then growled out, "Do I really want to know?"

"Konatsu was hanging around the dojo and heard you two talking. He then told Ukyo and Akane, who had no idea what this was about. Also, cats and pandas have pretty good hearing, which is something I think this Doctor of yours forgot to tell you," Nabiki snapped out, "As for me, it was either me or the fathers, and do you really want them here right now?"

Ranma sighed, and then called out, "Konatsu, can you come out, please?" Instantly, the crossdressing kunoichi popped into visibility, kneeling down on one knee and ready to rant apologies at his friend. However, before he could open his mouth, Ranma pulled him to his feet and then handed him the child in his hands, muttering something in English to the girl. He then looked at Konatsu. "Protect the girl as if she was Ukyo, and all is forgiven, got it?"

Konatsu nodded in shock. Suddenly, Ranma stiffened, and then turned around to stare behind him. After a moment, he turned back around, and then, in an imperial tone, said, "Shampoo, grab Nabiki. Ukyo, grab Martha-chan and help Akane along, she's gaining speed, but I doubt she's up to par with the rest of you. Now, start running!"

Cologne narrowed her eyes at the young man. "What makes you think you can give orders to us, sonny boy?"

Before anyone could say anything, a form burst out from behind Ranma. It was dog-like, but it had no fur, showcasing leathery red skin. Its muzzle was opened up as if it were a Venus fly trap, showcasing three orange tentacles. The thing had no eyes, and was emitting a loud shrieking sound. Then Ranma appeared in front of it, kicking the thing in its belly and knocking it in the air.

As the other martial artists watched, he withdrew two heavy pistols from out of nowhere, and then fired upon the beast, causing bits of blood and skin to fly into the air. The thing hit a tree heavily, and then fell to the ground as Ranma ran out of bullets.

In shock, the other Nerimans stood quietly, though both Cologne and Akane (who knew Ranma's fighting style), noted the mist that Ranma breathed out, a sure sign of a user of the Kon no Koori (Soul of Ice).

However, Cologne noticed something else. As Ranma kicked the thing away, she could sense a thread of ki being pulled from Ranma into the beast. "Ki vampire! But how? Those were supposed to be legends . . . "

Ranma whirled around, glaring at the Old Ghoul. "Either you guys get moving NOW, or you will become a smorgasbord for about a hundred and fifty more of these freaks! GET MOVING!"

Nobody needed to be told twice. Shampoo grabbed Nabiki and stared leaping from tree limb to tree limb. Akane and Ukyo, who had grabbed Martha in a bridal hold, took off as well, with Konatsu hovering over them with the child. Cologne sped along in front of them, while Mousse slammed into a tree and had to be dragged along by Ranma long enough so that he could throw him at Cologne.

She caught him, though it was by no means gentle.

After doing this, Ranma fell back into the treeline. Seconds later, several high pitched shrieks sounded, and then abruptly ended.

They ran for what seemed like hours, until the sun finally set into the west. As the last rays of sun disappeared, Ranma flickered into existence beside a flagging Akane, who jumped and shrieked in surprise.

If it wasn't for the fact that the pigtailed martial artist looked like shit, she would have hit him with something. His skin was pale white, and his clothes were ripped all over the place. "Up ahead, there's a river," he called out. "Everybody, stop there!"

As they stopped, he pulled out a wool blanket, walked over to Konatsu, and wrapped it around the blonde child. This time, Nabiki could clearly hear him say, in English, "_This will keep you warm, even in the wet. Stay with Konatsu, she will protect you from the bad monsters_."

The girl, who had fallen asleep in transit and had just recently woken back up, replied, "_Thank you Ra-ma-chan! Promise you will come back?_"

Ranma snorted. "_I will come back. I made you a promise, and I never go back on my word!_"

The child giggled, and Ranma mussed her hair a bit, causing the child to break into laughter. He then turned around, face grim. "OK, these things are still coming after us. I managed to give us a few more minutes with a couple of thermal detonators, but I'm running out of ammo fast! I've got an idea, but you guys can't be around for it."

Still out of breath, Akane asked, "What . . . what do you mean, Ranma?"

Instead of answering, the pigtailed boy walked over to the river, and stuck his hand in the water. As he changed into her, the little girl gasped in surprise, but Martha, who had been set down by Ukyo, started whispering English into her ear to explain.

Nabiki didn't notice this, however. What she did notice was the river misting over and blocks of ice freezing at the edges.

Ranma stood up and turned around. "These things hunt their prey using two different methods. The first is scent; they have to be able to smell you. Yours is known to them by now, so to be able to lead them off, everyone needs to leave a piece of clothing in a small pile here." She gestured to one point by the riverbank. "I don't care if it is a used hanky, your shirt, or something else, just leave it there and get into the river."

Akane worked to keep a hold of her temper as Shampoo, ever the bold one, walked over, shed everything she had on, and then hopped into the river, becoming a small, white and pink cat. Mousse freaked out and had a massive nosebleed that ended when Cologne knocked him into the river himself, turning him into a white duck.

What surprised everyone was the fact that Ranma didn't even look at the Amazon, much less blush. "Second, if they can't smell you, they can resort to a form of heat vision, which is why I had to lower the water temperature. Please, leave any warming techniques until after you get out of the woods." This caused the cat and duck to stiffen. Both were used to warmer water, not water just above freezing.

However, before anyone could complain, Ranma stiffened, and then yelled, "When I get back, I need clothing from everyone! The farther I can lead them off, the safer you'll be. If one of them notices a scent that didn't come with me, they'll hang around here, and you do not want that!"

With that, she whirled around and threw himself into the woods again. At this, Martha muttered something under her breath as she tossed her jacket on top of the pile. As she did this, Nabiki, who was eager to get out of there, stripped off her shirt and did the same. Within thirty seconds, everyone had eased themselves into the freezing river, leaving articles of clothing behind them.

As they got to the center (which was about chest deep on Nabiki; Shampoo was hanging off of Mousse's back), Ranma whirled back into the clearing, grabbed the clothing, and then took off in a ninety degree angle. Right behind him followed a horde of the creatures, almost a hundred of them. A few of the stragglers at the end stopped and sniffed around for a bit, but eventually, they took off to follow as well.

The small party stood there for minutes, until Cologne took charge. "Alright, let's get out of here!"

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It was getting close to midnight when they managed to get out of the forest. It was slow going, as the river was freezing cold. Konatsu had managed to keep the child warm using the wool blanket and a small flash bomb that he had modified as a heating unit, but everyone else shivered throughout the journey.

As they got out, Martha walked over to the edge of the forest and grabbed a few blocks of wood. Pulling them towards the river, she set them into a loose teepee formation. Cologne, noticing this, asked, "What on Earth are you doing, girl?"

Martha gave her a moot look. "I'm making a fire, what else?"

"Are you insane? There are a large mob of ki vampires in this forest! Why would anyone want to stay around here?"

"Someone has to wait for Ranma."

Cologne stared at the black woman for a bit, and then started to laugh. The laugh grew in ferocity until it was a mad cackle . . . and then hacking sobs. At last, she said, "Did you know that, two hundred years ago, our tribe was attacked by a small group of those monsters? That day, three Elders, fifty blooded Amazon Warriors, and over a hundred trainees and males died that day, just to take out three ki vamps! Sonny boy isn't coming back!"

Nabiki, Akane, and Ukyo froze, pale faced, and Shampoo stared at her Great Grandmother in shock and yowled furiously at her, but Martha just snorted. "You obviously don't know Ranma as much as you think you do then."

"If Ranma survives, I will personally support him in any endeavors to end the Kisses of Marriage and Death, and with the feedback I've gotten from the other Elders, that is also impossible!" Cologne snapped. She then whirled around, grabbed Shampoo by the nape of her neck, and stalked off. "Come Mousse, we must get back to the Neko Hanten!"

Ukyo looked at Martha hopefully, "Do you really think that Ran-chan will return?"

Martha grinned at the girl. "Definitely. Thing is, you and your ninja friend won't be around to see it."

Ukyo gaped at this, but Konatsu, who was wet, cold, and nearing the limit of even his incredible patience and grace, asked, in a hollow, yet still melodious voice, "Is that a threat, Martha-san?"

"Look at Sylvia." Martha gestured at the girl in his arms. The poor thing was asleep, shivering, and desperately trying to find warmth in the kunoichi's chest. "Left like that, she won't last the night. I have dealt with worse nights than this, but even if I get a fire started, it will not be enough to warm her up and keep her alive. Ranma did tell you to keep that girl alive, right? Then you know what to do."

Konatsu stared at the British girl mutely, and then turned to Ukyo. "Ukyo-sama, I am truly sorry about this, but . . . "

Ukyo sighed, and then smiled at him. "I know, Ko-chan, I know. I think the car is this way." She took a few steps forward, and then turned back to Akane to ask, "You will call me when he comes back, right?"

The tomboy nodded, "I will."

With that, both chef and kunoichi walked into the night.

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It was near dawn, and Akane was feeling quite awkward.

Martha had managed to start a moderately sized fire using several logs and an odd shaped pistol that seemed to fire a laser beam. Still, neither Nabiki nor Akane were going to complain . . . until the British Agent insisted that they strip off all of their wet clothing to let them dry out.

Akane, who had left her shirt in the pile, froze and was about to snap, but Nabiki, who was already cold, miserable, and wet, started stripping like it was nothing. When Akane tried to bring up Ranma, Martha replied, "Odds are she'll be more interested in sleeping than staring."

So it was that three naked girls were sitting around a campfire. Martha managed to pass the time talking about her two encounters with the pigtailed martial artist and the Doctor, telling them about both the dance and an earlier event involving a military group. She was intentionally vague about the enemies they had fought, and when Nabiki tried to call her on it, she told them that "It wasn't her secret to tell."

Still, both Tendos were growing to like the girl.

Finally, as the first rays of sunlight breached the darkness, Akane stiffened, and turned to the river, sensing . . . something. Suddenly, she leapt up and ran over there. Both Nabiki and Martha followed, while trying to watch their footing. By the time they got there, the bluenette tomboy was already helping a small, shivering redhead out of the water.

Ranma was naked, and some of the skin on her arms, legs, and breasts were quite blue. Her breathing was shallow, but her eyes still had some awareness left in them.

Akane was about to panic. Ranma had given her a lesson on sensing ki, and whereas before Ranma was a fountain of ki, now there was barely any left in the girl. Nabiki, having heard of the effects of hypothermia, wasn't much better.

Martha, on the other hand, had been trained for emergency situations, and had immediately grabbed Ranma's cheeks. "Ranma, we need sleeping bags! Ranma!"

Akane was about to snap at her when Ranma slowly reached back to her untied, messy hair, and from out of nowhere, pulled out two rolled up sleeping bags. She then fell unconscious, her eyes closing.

Both Tendos stared in shock at how Ranma pulled something out of thin air, but Martha was already unrolling the sleeping bags and zipping them together. "Nabiki-san! Grab two of the dry shirts and dry Ranma off! Akane, you hold her up!"

The Mercenary Tendo snapped into action doing as asked. Akane, on the other hand, was still panicking, and could do nothing more than clutch Ranma to her as her sister went to work. Finally, Martha managed to get the sleeping bags set up as one. When Ranma was sufficiently dry, she came over and grabbed Ranma's other arm.

Akane stared at the UNIT agent uncomprehending, but Martha stared her straight in the eyes and told her "Come on, Ranma will be just fine. She needs your help, so please, help her!"

The tomboy came to almost instantly, and nodded. She then helped Martha move Ranma over to the sleeping bag. Laying her down, Martha then looked back at Akane. "Ranma needs warmth. The fire won't be enough to help. You'd do anything to help her, right?"

After getting a nod, she patted the open spot in the sleeping bag behind Ranma, "Then lie down."

Akane blinked, "Wait, what?"

"Ranma needs warmth. The best way to get that is to use body heat! Will you help him?"

Akane froze up, realizing for the first time in hours that she was completely naked. Old instincts came back to her, coming from a rather repressed idea of sex that she had built up. Nabiki never knew this, or she'd have ended things herself, but some of the perverts from the Hentai Horde had been more than content to try and goose and grope her in the mob, rather than try and beat her. Then there were the girls who thought that she was a lesbian, for her hatred of the males at school.

Some of them hadn't gone away when Ranma stopped the Horde.

Thus, her idea of intimacy was almost as repressed as Ranma's was before the trip he took.

Finally, she looked down and noticed how small Ranma looked, shivering there in the cold. She looked so defenseless, almost fragile . . .

Martha soon found brown eyes staring at her, filled with fear, determination, and nervousness. "I'll . . . I'll do it."

With that, Akane laid down next to Ranma, and tried to wrap an arm around the small form of her transgendered fiancé. However, she found that she wasn't alone.

"Nabiki? What are you . . . ?"

Her sister sighed. "Two work better than one in situations like this, sis. Besides, I'm partly responsible for some of the shit he's gone through recently, so, " Nabiki licked her lips nervously and looked away, "just think of this as me trying to pay some of my debt to Ranma, 'K?"

Akane nodded, and soon, all three girls were zipped up in a double sleeping bag, while Martha Jones kept silent watch for the rest of the night.

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NEXT UP: Ranma awakens, and finds herself in an awkward position. A return to Nerima, and the appearance of some typical, expected trouble (at least on our end). This and more, coming up!


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the delay, but I've been kind of busy . . . and depressed. Long story short, my family, who I have spent most of my life, and all my summers with, left me sitting at home with a summer class and a job at the local supermarket while one brother went to Spain, another went to New York City, and my parents went to North Carolina. All in all, it's a wonder I managed to write anything as of late.

Just a few notices before we start with the story. First, I own nothing. In fact, I'll be collecting even more debt soon, what with another college loan coming in my near future. You want my debt? Take it.

Second, since my last update notice, I added another shot to my Random Tales, Straight From the Muse line. It's called The Handler, and for some reason, I don't think it got an alert. I don't care if you think it's a shitty idea, but it's what my depression and my muse came up with. I'll endeavor to write more upbeat stuff in the future.

Third, I may have to apologize to fans of Saotome Shinji. The delay in this is that I'm stuck on Rei. If I had started this fic at the beginning of the series, she would be a perfect blank slate, eligible for me to manipulate her as a wanted. Problem is, we are over half way through NGE, and Shinji and Asuka and Misato have already affected her. I just need to figure out how much, in what ways, and how she may react to what I have planned for the future. Give me a bit with this; Ayanami is a tough cookie to crack.

On a final note, if anyone thinks the first part of this seems off, I'm going for a thoroughly shaken Akane here. Last chapter, she has been forced to admit to herself, for the first time ever, that she truly cares for Ranma. It's easy to care for someone when times are good, but hard times make for hard cases. Consider it a psychological block that Akane has put up to keep herself from snapping while she was recovering from the trauma of the Hentai Horde, being pushed down and trampled on.

Meanwhile, Ranma, whose inner and outer strength is usually unmatched, has both lacking. She is running on dregs here, and won't be fit until the next chapter. Even then, I'm not sure if he will completely recover until a chapter or two after that. So any staring on his/her part can be attributed to not having the strength, energy, or willpower to look away.

So now, let's begin!

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Akane withdrew from the Land of Nod slowly. The first thing she noted was that she was completely naked, and in some sort of sleeping bag.

The second thing she realized was that her head was on something soft and warm, and her body and molded into something just as warm, though maybe not as soft. For some reason, it made her feel as if she was being comforted and loved. It almost felt like . . .

Her mental process froze for a moment, and then split into various emotions. Horror, that she may be in someone's bed, even more horror, that it was with another naked female, embarrassment and shame at the placement of her head (and other hand, which was also on something soft, warm, and remarkably firm), rage at the person who might have caused this mess, and, oddly enough, a weird sort of hope that she quickly tried to squash down.

After a few seconds of this, she realized that something was off with the body she was with. While warm, it seemed quite a bit cooler than normal.

Then it hit her. Memories of her dragging Ranma out of the river, frozen blue and unconscious. Of her, stripping down in order to save her female fiancé. Immediately the rage vanished in place of concern, relief, a bit more shame (at her anger), and . . . was that lust?

Putting her emotions aside, Akane slowly opened her eyes.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Ranma awoke to find herself almost completely sapped of energy. This immediately set her mind on edge. However, she was so weak, she could barely take account of things. Setting her mind to work, she realized that she was naked, and someone was lying on top of her. What was left of her ki senses identified it as . . . oh SHIT!

Note that there are some instincts and reactions that don't completely fade away. Akane, in any kind of perverted situation, had the reactions of a loaded bazooka. Ranma, while quite a bit tougher, did not have the strength at the moment to defend against her.

She was screwed.

Slowly, she opened her eyes, to find herself staring into the eyes of her fiancé.

Akane felt even more shame at the open fear in Ranma's eyes, and did her best to shove her emotions aside. Smiling quietly, she said, with open relief, "Ranma, you're OK!"

Ranma tensed, and gaped. This was supposed to be where Akane malleted her, but this reaction . . . "Wha . . . ?"

An open groan behind Ranma made both girls jump, "Your little stunt last night brought you to us naked and almost dying Saotome. This is just us trying to keep you alive." Both girls turned to Nabiki, who was sitting up, breasts uncovered. Both briefly noted the concern hidden in the older girl's eyes, as well as the fact that her nipples were starting to harden. Ranma shook that thought out of her head, while Akane froze, realized that she was staring at her sister's boobs, and then followed suit.

"Ah . . . " Ranma croaked out, blushing a bit. Nabiki noted this, looked down, and shrugged.

"Look, the ground is hard, I have no coffee, and you've already seen a lot of this shit before. I haven't the energy right now for modestly. Shove off, the both of you!"

More giggling brought their attention towards Martha, who had gathered the dry clothing. "Glad to see everyone is in a good mood. You wouldn't happen to have a few extra shirts and shit with you, eh Ranma?"

Akane, caught in such a situation as this, instinctively flexed her hands into fists in a nervous quirk, or tried to anyways. This caused Ranma to moan, "Ak-k-kane, please!"

The blunette tomboy yelped and sat up in embarrassment, removing herself from Ranma's breasts and causing her own to bounce a bit, catching Ranma's eyes. After a second, Ranma shook her head again, groaned, and wearily sat up, causing her own breasts to bounce a bit as well. As Ranma did this, she didn't notice that Akane was staring at her boobs in the same way that she stared earlier, before she blushed and then shook her head fiercely. Martha, however, caught the reaction, but said nothing.

Ranma made a movement towards her untied hair, and from nowhere, pulled four oversized T-shirts, red, green, blue, and gold. She tossed them at Martha, and then nearly fell back, landing on Akane, who had moved to grab her. The tomboy blushed when she noted that Ranma's head was on her breasts, but it was more embarrassment than anger, "Ranma, you OK?"

Ranma looked up, and Akane gasped at the weakness in her face, "Yeah . . . but I don't think I can move much. I'm nearly out of ki, and my body's pretty messed up at the moment."

The three girls around her moved closer in concern, but Ranma waved them off, "It's nothing that can't be fixed with a couple hours of rest and a healing technique I learned a while back. We may be stuck here for a while . . . "

"No can do, Ranma, "Martha sniped, "I need to check in, and our impromptu bath killed my cell phone. We need to get back to town stat."

Ranma winced, "Yeah, but . . . well, I guess I can . . . hm . . . " She then looked up, "Akane, could you carry me out of here, please? I don't think I can walk, and this isn't something I can get better from in an hour."

Nabiki groaned, "What did you do to yourself now, Saotome?"

The redhead winced again. "The Doctor taught me that energy moves slower when it's cold, so I used the Soul of Ice to keep my ki with me, rather than with the ki leeches. Problem is, I had to go so far into it, my muscles and joints couldn't take it well. I can heal it, but I think I've torn my leg and chest muscles to shreds, and my joints are not much better."

Akane gasped at this news, "Ranma . . . "

"I told you, I can heal from this. Problem is, I need a couple hours of meditation for this, and ideally, some direct contact with the ground. Since we don't have time, I ought to be able to channel part of the technique through you if you carry me. It'll be slower, but . . . "

"Do it." Akane's definite reply made Ranma's eyes widen, and a small smile appeared on her face.

Nabiki, however, was more cautious, "And what kind of effects might we expect from this?"

"Um, nothing bad, but Akane may start to feel really good . . . not in a sexual way, but more like her body is running better than it ever has before. Her eyes may turn green for a bit, but it's not permanent."

Akane nodded, gently laid Ranma beside her, and then got up, ignoring the fact that she was naked in front of Ranma and two other girls, as well as the fact that Ranma was now staring unashamed at her. As she walked away, she heard Nabiki hiss, "Ranma, shouldn't you be looking away right now?"

Her reply made her feel even more concern, "I would, but I don't think I can move right now . . . too much muscle damage. Even then, I'm so drained, I don't think I even have the willpower to stop looking."

Biting back the anger coming from her repressed inner gorilla, Akane sniped back, "Nabiki, I've come to realize that Ranma isn't as perverted as most guys. She can look, as long as she realizes this isn't an invitation for anything perverted . . . for now, anyways."

The Tendo mercenary gaped at this, but Ranma could only chuckle, which came out rather airy, "Message received, my Tomboy."

Akane flushed, and hastily grabbed for her cloths.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Around noon, the small party left the forest, though not completely dressed. Martha still had most of her clothes on, but had put on the yellow shirt due to the fact that her own was muddy. It came down to her knees.

Akane and Nabiki, on the other hand, had found their bras had shrunk, along with Akane's pants. Apparently, freezing cold water and a hot fire afterwards hadn't been good for them. Nabiki had on the green shirt, which covered the shorts she had worn on this trip. Akane, on the other hand, only had a pair of panties on under her blue shirt, forcing her to rely on the length of the shirt to preserve her modesty.

O top of the fact that she was carrying Ranma (who was naked under her oversized red shirt and lying her head on Akane's breasts), the pleasant tingling feeling she was getting from the strange healing technique, and also dealing with a less than pleasant underdraft, she was also starting to doubt her own sanity.

Which made things less than ideal when Martha decided to start a conversation, "You know, you're not exactly what I expected."

"What does that mean?" Akane snapped back.

Martha waved her hands in a warding gesture, "Nothing bad, honest! It's just, I heard a lot of things about you from Ranma, mostly good, mind you, and you just seem more . . . rational . . . than I expected."

"Let's just say I had an epiphany lately, and leave it like that."

"That's what Ranma told me earlier. Didn't say much more than that, but . . . "

They continued walking for a time, until Martha decided to ask, "So, did you enjoy the floor show?"

Akane sputtered and almost dropped Ranma, "Wh-what's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh relax! I'm just saying that you seemed to be staring quite a bit . . . "

"I like boys!" Akane snarled back.

Martha waved her hands in a defensive position, "I'm not saying you don't! I'm just saying that you were staring at Ranma-chan for a good bit there!"

"Girls aren't supposed to like other girls!" the tomboy snapped.

It must be understood that Akane has had an extremely repressed life when it came to sex. When the Hentai Horde started, she lost trust in most of the males in her life, excluding her father and Tofu Ono. When her hatred of perverted males rose to a certain level, some of the other girls feared she was a lesbian, and started treating her like a social pariah . . . and then there were the girls that tried to ask her out, being lesbians themselves.

Having boys treat her like a prize and a piece of meat at the same time (both fighting and groping her), gave her the views that sex and anything tied with it was perverted. Having girls ask her out because she hated perverted boys only made that view spread further.

Then Ranma entered the battlefield.

Sure, he was a misogynistic jerk with the ego the size of a mountain and the tact of a flying cannonball. Sure, he had girls hanging all over him.

Sure, he was a she half the time.

Still, he had his moments. He could be sweet, kind, upbeat, and rather clever. He was an awesome martial artist. He was also a hunk . . .

Before the mysterious trip that Ranma had taken, Akane could deny the last good mark in Ranma's favor by hiding it behind all the bad ones, but her growing attraction for the boy scared her, making it easier for her to jump into conclusions. Ryouga, before he was found out, seemed so pure that it had given her a male figure to . . . not trust, per say, but not mistrust in, either.

And then the trip happened. Ryouga was revealed to be a pervert, and Ranma came back . . . more refined. He wasn't insulting her at every moment. He was helping her in her training and teaching her new things behind the cover of an unofficial mentor, and had even sworn that, as soon as he gained a license to teach, that she would be his first student!

She could no longer deny that she was attracted to and liked Saotome Ranma. It was a new feeling for her, and was scaring her to death, but it felt good at the same time . . . it felt too right to be wrong . . .

And now, here she was, feeling attracted to Ranma's girl form. Being stretched beyond one's comfort zone is a good thing in small doses, but going this far into unknown territory without a guide was definitely making her a little unstable.

Which was why, when Martha reared back and slapped her, she neither reacted with violence, nor dropped Ranma, who was still nestling on Akane's chest . . .

She froze.

"Look, I realize that you've got some hang-ups on this, but there is nothing wrong with a girl being attracted to another girl! One of my best friends in college was a lesbian. I'm still having lunch with her from time to time, and I've even met her current girlfriend! So stop thinking that it's unnatural or what have you!"

Nabiki stood there in shock, mind whirling through half forgotten rumors. She had heard of, sometime in the horde's reign that Akane had been hit on by other girls, but on further investigation, that had turned up nothing. The girls denied it, and Akane reacted rather violently to that line of questioning, creating a large hole in a wall on the first and only occasion she was asked.

The vehemence in Akane's voice in her last statement shocked her, and made her wonder if using the morning fights for profit had been a good idea.

Martha, having calmed down some, placed a hand on Akane's shoulder. "Look, sometimes people are attracted to certain bodies. Sometimes, the body is what society deems to be acceptable. Sometime, it's not. It's not our fault who we feel attracted to, we can't completely control our bodies like that. Your attracted to Ranma as a guy, right?"

Akane, feeling very lost, nodded her head in agreement.

"And now, you're feeling attracted to Ranma as a girl, correct?"

The youngest Tendo girl opened her mouth to deny it, but as she did, Ranma shifted, as if the line of argument was disturbing her for some reason. Looking down, Akane found herself looking at the aqua-transsexual girl's delicate face, with her red lip, cute little nose, and soft skin . . . at the delicate curve of her breasts, peeking out through the neckline of her shirt.

Akane's pulse quickened; her face paled. She started to shake uncontrollably . . . and then she felt Martha gently lift her chin up so that she was staring right into the Black British girl's eyes. "What you are feeling right now is an attraction to Ranma as a person. There is no cure for Jusenkyo (so I've heard), and Ranma-chan will be here for a long, long time. He's still the same person when he's a she, yes?" At Akane's nod, Martha smiled gently, "Then there is nothing to worry about. You're just attracted to your fiancé!"

Akane took a hold of that thought as a drowning person would take hold of a PFD. Sniffling slightly, she started to walk again, as her mind whirled through what Martha had said, and her own personal views on what was perverted and what wasn't

Nabiki on the other hand, just looked at Martha, "So, how long did you have planned out?"

"The first part I had set up ever since Ranma and I started trying to talk things out. He had a lot of stuff that he was puzzling through, and part of it, he felt, needed a female mind to help him figure out. When I heard about Akane, I made note to try and get her to think about some stuff if I ever met her."

"And that second part?"

"Made it up on the fly. I've read some articles about certain mental states involving a person being attracted to a mind or a personality more than they were attracted to a body type. I think with what Akane's gone through, that would pretty much some her up."

"You adlib good then," Nabiki commented, while mentally cursing Kuno for starting this and herself for not trying to stop the Hentai Horde from the very beginning.

"Yeah, I did," Martha replied, "Kind of had experience with it while I was dealing with Ranma. Did you know, his father treated him so poorly, that he had thought that violence was a sign of affection?"

"What?"

"Yeah, messed up, I know . . . "

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

It was mid afternoon when Cologne took note of three familiar ki signatures . . . and a fourth that should not exist right now. She hustled over to find the four girls walking and talking as they entered Nerima.

Akane, after trying to sort out some of her emotions, had noticed the conversation behind her after about half an hour, and had joined in. Currently, she was muttering threats against the Panda for what he did to Ranma. Before, she had never taken into account what a life like that would have done to a child, but Martha had taken a few Psychology classes in college, and knew what Ranma's life meant.

This had solidified Akane's emotions for Ranma, and Akane vowed to learn as much as she could, so she could do what she could to protect someone who, despite his/her own neurosis, had taken to caring about her so deeply.

Nabiki, on the other hand, marveled at how the older British woman guided the conversation. She subtly asked about this, and then was told about Martha's (non-classified) job duties.

Office politics had nothing on what happens in the UNIT, it seemed.

Cologne just stared at the quartet, especially at Ranma and Akane. Akane seemed to have some sort of energy travelling through her into Ranma, who seemed to be actively channeling it. Also, the way the former was holding the latter was very intimate.

When she realized where the energy was coming from, it shocked her long enough to miss the energy cut off, be drained from Akane, and center itself into Ranma.

"How is that possible?" Cologne gasped aloud, alerting the three alert girls to her presence.

Nabiki was tired, sore, and positively not ready for this, but Martha was alert enough to level a pistol at the crone. "Elder Ku Lon. What brings you here?"

"She's alive . . . "

A raspy laugh made them all jump, "Yeah, I'm alive. What of it?"

"You're channeling pure chi . . . "

"Again, what of it?"

Cologne's eyes seemed to widen, "Have you any idea what that can do to someone?'

The girls stared at Ranma as she chuckled again, "If channeled by someone without the proper training, it can cause a type of sickness that drains the victim of all energy, or can cause serious bouts of cancer. To someone with the training, it can be used to heal someone at Death's Door, no matter how serious the injury."

"What training? There is no training to channel pure chi!" Cologne ranted.

"Just because 3000 years of Amazon History shows no method for this, doesn't mean that there isn't."

Cologne opened her mouth to retort, and then noticed how the energy flow had changed. Looking deeper, she found no trace of pure chi in Akane, and only mild traces of it in Ranma.

Her shock prevented her from reacting when Ranma motioned the group to move past her.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Ukyo was behind the counter, preparing for the evening rush when they entered Ucchan's. The blonde gaijin child was sitting next to Konatsu at the counter. Immediately, the girl hurled herself at Ranma, knocking herself into Akane's legs and nearly knocking both girls down in the process.

Nabiki missed the high speed babble that emanated from the British girl's mouth, but Ranma apparently did, as she messed up the girl's hair, chuckled softly, and then starting replying to all the questions.

Martha soon joined in as she helped Akane put the redhead into a chair. Nabiki, on the other hand, just walked up to the counter, "For the record, we've already seen Cologne. Said something about a chi technique of some sort that Ranma was using to heal herself, but I get the feeling that we're missing quite a bit of information here, and Saotome isn't talking."

Ukyo nodded at this, looked thoughtful for a few moments, and then walked over to where Akane was fussing over Ranma and the child . . . Sylvia, wasn't it?

The cross-dressing chef shook her head in confusion. Konatsu was the only one of the two of them the girl could speak to, probably because the kunoichi was multilingual . . . part of his training in intelligence gathering, apparently. To be honest, she could only remember the name being mentioned once, and she was still not sure if she heard it right.

"Is Ranchan OK?" she asked?

Akane sighed, "Yeah, but she's completely wiped. I don't know how bad, but she's not going to be doing any fighting anytime soon."

Ukyo sighed in relief, then went to make a Ranchan special for the weary redhead.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

In the Moscow airport, a pudgy,middle-aged blonde woman made her way to her gate, her beady black eyes glinting angrily at the people surrounding her. She scowled fiercely, making her look like a toad with yellow hair.

'_How dare they,' _she thought to herself as she walked . . . no, waddled to her destination. _'How dare they take one of the best scientific guinea pigs I have ever seen away from me, ME? I have slaved over and over in that laboratory, studying alien biology and technology, and when a human comes in, capable of things we have never heard of, will they let me study her?'_

'_Bah! I'll show them! First they put that 'Doctor' person on as an advisor, preventing me from working out exactly what makes a Time Lord tick, then they take that Japanese freak martial artist person away from me, just when I start working on her! I'll show them!'_

As she passed her boarding pass towards the head stewardess, she smiled. _'Next stop, Nerima!"_

And thus, Dorothy Ann Nikola made her way to Japan, where a weary redhead shivered, feeling a sense of doom come on to her.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

NEXT UP: Martha Jones leaves with Sylvia; Ranma recovers; Cologne frets; Dr. Nikola comes; chaos ensues. That and more, coming up, so stay tuned!


	6. Chapter 6

Wow, it's been a while. Sorry folks, but Grad School is not something a writing hobbyist does well in. Either he has to cut writing, or flunk class. To be honest, I'm lucky enough just to get this and another chapter out over the last semester without failing anything . . . and half of one chapter was written in the summer!

Anyways, my muse is finally on the move, working on something that isn't random plot ideas. For some reason, she really fell in love with the Code Geass anime, and has been coming up with 'alternate power' plot bunnies for it. Not sure why, since I don't know enough about the show to write it. Who knows, many I'll write a short preview of one just for kicks later . . .

If you think Ranma is OOC here, I apologize. However, this is just after the last chapter, and he/she is still recovering from the massive ki draining he just went through. He knows that he'd never be able to fight off Nikola's droids for long without some more recovery time. Plus, his presence would endanger his family and his loved ones. Better for him to build his strength then for the Tendo girls to get hurt.

By the new year, I ought to have two to four new chapters out for your viewing pleasure. I have over half of one of them done now, and I just need a bit more research time (after finals, thank you very much.

Sorry for making everyone worry; I'll try and schedule my time better in the future.

Oh, and I currently owe over $50,000 in student loans right now. You want that debt? Go ahead and sue; I own nothing more than the clothes on my back and the computer I'm typing this on. I'm not even sure I own my muse anymore . . . then again, that might be a good thing . . .

Bring it on . . . I dare you . . .

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Akane and Nabiki stared at the scene in front of them. For most of the Saotomes' time in Nerima, those stares would have been accompanied by feelings of annoyance, disgust, anger, exasperation, and/or irritation.

This time, the prevailing emotion was a combination of worry and steadily growing sense of terror.

It had been a week since the incident in the forest, and Ranma spent most of it in bed. Any time Ranma was up and about, he stayed off the roofs, and wouldn't even spar with Genma.

That wasn't to say that Akane's training suffered. Instead, the pigtailed young man had her running through dozens of ki and emotional control exercises.

By this point, she could feel the ki flow inside of her, and while she couldn't consciously control it, she knew it wouldn't be long before she was roof hopping with the best of them!

Except now, her sensei was running around his room, shoving clothes and supplies in his bag and acting as if a Cat Talent Contest was setting up on the block!

'He didn't move that fast even when P-chan dropped by, out for blood!' Nabiki reflected . . .

**XXX FLASHBACK XXX**

_"Ranma! Prepare to die!"_

_The Saotome scion flinched as the wall behind him exploded, revealing the eternally lost boy. Stumbling, he rolled into a handspring, wincing as his muscles protested. _

_"Damn you! Not only have I seen Hell because of you, now Akane hates me! Die, you bastard!"_

_Ranma gritted his teeth as he rolled into the koi pond, attempting to splash Ryouga while he was at it. His opponent ducked, and then launched a Shi Shi Hokudan at her, forcing her to abandon her position. Her landing, however, caused her legs to collapse under her, making her cry out in pain and frustration.  
Ryouga grinned and raised his umbrella up over his head, ready to crush the small pigtailed girl, when a voice causes him to freeze._

_"Ryouga."_

_It was not the voice itself that cause him to freeze up, per say. Nor was it the person that it belonged to. It was her tone, icy cold and full of venom, that did the trick._

_Akane's most powerful emotion was her anger, making it ideal as a fuel for practicing her ki blasts._

_However, it was also a major handicap for her, as a number of people knew how to use it against her. It also made her sloppy, which was something a good martial artist could not afford to be. In order to counter this, Ranma had taught her the Soul of Ice._

_Now, instead of a raging inferno, Akane's temper was more like a slow building blizzard. She was still working on making the reaction into instinct, but that was expected. Still, the change was obvious._

_First, her battle aura was more controlled, defined even. This kept her from going berserk due to her rage. Instead of blazing up like a fire, it whirled around her like a tornado. Second, her ki mallet, a manifestation of her pure feminine rage, looked less like a wooden hammer and more like a large, Norse weapon, carved out of ice. _

_Third, the shockwave that was created when she slammed it into Ryouga shook the house behind her!_

_Ryouga flew from the Tendo Dojo at speeds that even Ranma envied, though she wished that she never had to travel that fast under her fiancé's power. Her follow up shattered the lost boy's battle umbrella, which had been let go on impact. _

_As soon as the last piece of wood from the umbrella landed on the ground, Akane was thawing, and had immediately slid onto her knees so she could fuss over Ranma, worrying about how Ryouga was picking on her._

_On one hand, being mothered like that grated on Ranma's masculine ego, which, while not the size of Tokyo anymore, was still easily bruised. _

_On the other hand, the sudden role reversal between the Wild Horse and the Eternally Lost Boy was kind of nice . . . _

_Meanwhile, Genma, Soun, Nabiki, Kasumi, and Nodoka (who had stopped by to visit her manly son and his fiancé) stared in stunned silence. Nabiki, of course, knew that Ranma was severely weakened and why, and Nodoka and Kasumi was willing to listen to her (her father just sobbed while Genma ranted about his weak, girly son). _

_However, Akane's new form of expressing her raw fury was so awe-aspiring that even the urge to celebrate the union of their schools was wiped from the two idiots minds. _

_In other words, they feared that if they interrupted this scene, they'd be next._

_See, even idiots can be trained!_

**XXX END FLASHBACK XXX**

Suddenly the door behind them slammed open, causing both girls to jump.

Needless to say, Genma had not been happy with his son's 'laziness'. The day after Ranma returned, he had been woken in midair on his way to the pond. Genma followed after, landing right in front of it, a taunt on his lips . . .

Only to find Ranma lying face down in the water, struggling to move.

Needless to say, Akane, who had woken up at the commotion, was very displeased with Uncle Saotome . . .

Very displeased . . .

Genma had contented himself with playing checkers with Soun, and mocking his son every five minutes, especially when he had Akane performing 'Useless Belly Button Gazing.' He immediately left that line of thought after Ryouga's last visit, when he saw the 'Norse God Hammer Strike.'

That wasn't really its name, but Genma wasn't about to get on the wrong side of that!

"BOY!" Genma roared, "What the hell is going on he-"

Nabiki and Akane didn't even blink. One moment, Ranma was rushing around, the next, he was standing right in front of his father, a large stack of yen notes held out in front of him. "Oyaji, trouble the likes of which Happosai has yet to bring is on its way here. Take this money, grab Tendo-san, and go find a couple of bars in Kyoto to frequent, 'cause you sure as hell don't want to be caught up in it!"

Genma could only stare at the large pile of cash in front of him, until the words 'Happosai' and 'trouble' caught up to him. Then, the money vanished, and Genma was already on his way down to grab his drinking partner.

Nabiki jumped when Ranma turned to her, eyes wide in panic, "Nabiki, you need to go over and let Ukyo and Cologne know that they need to keep the crazy levels down to a minimum for the next week. Shampoo and Mousse need to go on vacation or something, and Ukyo should pretend not to even know I exist until I come back and give her the OK. I'd say the same for you two, but somebody needs to keep the kids at Furinkan quiet!"

"Ranma, what's going on?" Akane plead, starting to panic, "Tell me, maybe I can help . . . "

The boy shook his head frantically, "No time, she could be here any moment . . . " Both girls jerked back at this, thinking 'new fiancé' but Ranma continued on, "And if you see this ugly, middle-aged gaijin woman who reminds you of a toad, don't roof-hop, don't rush off, but make sure that she doesn't get a hold of you!"

With that, Ranma grabbed his bag, kissed Akane on the cheek, and leapt out the window.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

It had been over a week since then, and things had been pretty busy. To help out with the housework, Saotome Nodoka had come over to stay. She had originally come back over to spend some time with Ranma, but when told of his sudden departure, she immediately decided to stay and help hold down the fort. Kasumi really appreciated the help, as did Akane.

What was really surprising for both of them was when they managed to help Akane make a half decent meal. Both master chefs were rattled after the experience, but as they watched Nabiki bite into one without gagging or going into a coma, they each felt a sense of accomplishment. The Tendo Tomboy blushed at this backhanded praise, and started telling them how Ranma had taught her so many different exercises that were based on helping to increase one's focus.

She even gushed about how Ranma might have some theories about helping her learn how to swim, though he couldn't give her any promises. She couldn't understand what he said after that, but it did have something to do with 'elemental ki', whatever that was.

Ukyo had sworn to keep things normal at her place, but Cologne had some issues on her end. While she took great pride in her strength and skill, as well as that of her tribe, there was definitely something off-putting about Ranma fleeing terrified from one middle-aged woman. Alas, Shampoo was her main moneymaker, and was too prideful to go into hiding. Mousse, however, was easy to take care of.

The frostbite he'd pick up in the freezer might be a different story, but she didn't really care about that.

Nabiki, on the other hand, had been pretty busy herself, and as she shuffled downstairs that Saturday wearing a fluffy pink dressing robe and holding a manila folder, her research was about to show some fruit.

After her second cup of coffee, Nabiki yawned, placed the folder down in front of her, and said, "Gather 'round, I think I may know who has Ranma-kun running scared."

Akane perked up at this immediately, though Nodoka frowned, "I really don't think it's manly of him for running off like that, leaving you here alone . . . "

Nabiki snorted as Kasumi shuffled in from the kitchen, eager to hear the news, "Trust me, this has less to do with him being 'unmanly' and more to do with him not wanting to end up on a dissection table."

This was like ice cold water to the other women in the house, whose stares ranged from outright curiosity (Nodoka), to utter horror (Akane). Nabiki ignored this as she opened the folder.

The picture on the file displayed a pudgy gaijin woman, all in light pink and maroon, smiling at the camera. It was not a pleasant smile, but more of one normally used by sharks looking at Pacific Surfers, showing way too many teeth for comfort. Her blond hair was curly and styled in a frou-frou haircut, which made her look absolutely ridiculous. This, combined with her black eyes that gleamed with some diabolical intelligence displayed by mad scientists everywhere, made her look especially offsetting.

While none of the girls were willing to admit it out loud, the woman's resemblance to a toad in a blond wig was rather clear.

Little did they know that many of the Americans who knew the woman were less inclined to act with such manners; It was a common joke that said woman must be the secret love child of Miss Piggy, Kermit the Frog, and Doctor Evil.

It would later be followed up that such comments were insults . . . to the frog and pig, at least.

"Doctor Dorothy Ann Nikoka, age 42. Worked as a scientist in a British Paramilitary group known as UNIT. I didn't dig too deep into that, but her public job record states that she has an incessant curiosity that would have marked her as one of the top scientific minds in the world. Her complete lack of morals, on the other hand, has identified her as a loose cannon, and her attitude doesn't earn her any favors. The file says that she was put on probation two weeks before Ranma returned, citing an incident with an outside contract. From her works on biology and physics, I can safely assume that Ranma caught her eye, and she tried to tie him down on her examination table for a little look."

The faces of her audience had turned various shades of white, with an "Oh my!" from an obvious source. Nodoka, however, was a bit more practical.

"Does it say why Ranma-kun is running away from her?"

Nabiki grimaced, "The file doesn't but I got an email from Jones-san that gave me that info. Apparently, my search tripped one of their safeguards, but she managed to cover for me this time. Along with her scolding, she told me that two weeks ago, Nikolai-san stole a few high tech, experimental items from one of their high security vaults and then took off underground. They're having some problems tracking her, but her last known coordinates mark her as heading this way. She knows that Ranma lives in the general area, and plans on trying to capture him to complete a long list of experiments that may not leave him . . . or her, as the case may be, in one piece."

Noticing Akane's stormy look, she added, "She's also not very picky, so if she finds another subject or two . . . well, let's put it this way: as his student, you'd have the physical portion of her interest down." When Akane turned pale, she added, "However, Jones-san believes that she was far more interested in Ranma's Jusenkyo curse than anything else."

Kasumi gasped, "Oh my! Is that why he sent Uncle Genma away and tried to get Cologne to hide Shampoo-san?"

"It's a good bet. Auntie Nodoka, if she comes to the house, introduce yourself as our Aunt, and not as a Saotome. I wouldn't be surprised if she tries to get him through you." Nodoka nodded, palefaced, "Akane, if she comes to you, act natural. I've got the school blackmailed into silence, but all it takes is one rumor for her to find you. If she asks, you don't know a Saotome Ranma. If push comes to shove, point her at the Nekohanten."

"Kasumi," Nabiki then said, with an odd smile on her face, "You may want to go to this address for some reconnaissance, if you get my drift." She then handed her older sister a folded slip of paper. Kasumi opened it and then gasped in surprise. She then took notice of her audience, turned a shade of red that had never before been seen on her face, and then scuttled off, giggling a giggle that reminded both Tendo girls of a small, leather-bound book.

"What was that, Nabiki?" Akane asked.

Nabiki smirked, "Oh, just the only bit of good news I could find online: the address to Doctor Tofu Ono's new clinic!"

Nodoka had to have it explained to her later when Akane suddenly began sputtering and blushing with a shade of red equal to her oldest sister.

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It wasn't until next week that Dr. Nikolai appeared at Furinken, waving a photo of a redheaded female Ranma and trying to ask questions about her in bad Japanese. Akane eyed the woman warily.

She honestly didn't look like much. She was definitely not a fighter, and didn't have a bit of ki presence. The Tendo Tomboy couldn't see why Ranma feared the woman so.

At least, that was until Kuno Kodachi stuck her foot in it.

She had chosen that moment to swing in, laughing haughtily, looking for her beloved Ranma-sama. When she saw the blonde gaijin waving the picture of the harridan around, she leapt over to find out what was going on.

The moment she landed, Dr. Nikolai had a small, odd shaped gun trained on her. Kodachi, surprised, tried to dodge, but found that, instead of bullets that could have barely been dodged, the gun fired a blue bolt of electricity, effectively stunning the girl.

Kuno Tatewaki, upon noticing this, charged. Kodachi might have been crazy, but family is family, and nobody messed with his sister!

It was ironic that he was still using the moniker 'The Blue Thunder,' for that is exactly what he was hit with.

By this time, the entire schoolyard was in an uproar, and Dr. Nikolai was barely able to keep from being knocked over in the confusion. Akane managed to use this to slip out and run for home, hoping against hope that nobody noticed.

Later, Nabiki came home to inform the rest of the women that the crazed doctor had fled before the cops could arrive, leaving the two stunned Kunos where they had landed. They'd be OK, though the look in Kodachi's eyes kind of freaked her out.

Nabiki would later go on to say that it looked like Kodachi was 'shocked sane . . . and not happy about it.'

The next day, both Nabiki and Akane came home to find Kasumi quite rattled. Apparently, Dr. Nikolai had shown up sometime that morning.

According to the oldest Tendo sister, the woman's hold on the Japanese language was atrocious, her manners were obscene, and her temperament was even worse than that! Eventually, Kasumi had to 'politely' escort the woman out by threatening to call the cops.

What truly shook the brunette up was the fact that, for a moment, the ugly blonde looked like she was about to go for a stun gun or something almost as dangerous. However, the woman looked uncomfortable enough to just leave on her own powers without retaliating.

As the week continued, Nabiki and her team of schoolyard agents brought in even more news. The afternoon of Kasumi's brush with the disturbing woman, Ukyo had to deal with her. She had to do so the day after as well, and was quickly becoming more and more nervous about it. Konatsu had taken to watching the woman like a hawk, but it was clear that he was unnerved as well.

Later that night, an attack occurred on the Kuno mansion. The attacker left, but only after leaving a nasty burn mark on Kodachi's pet alligator. The girl was livid, and the agent watching the resulting police report reported that the sane look on her face had become even more pronounced.

The next night, Shampoo burst into the Tendo Dojo, panicked and screaming for her Airen to come fight off the aliens. Apparently, floating robotic probes had stormed the Nekohanten that night. Cologne had managed to fight them off, but the property damage that resulted was quite hefty. Furthermore, Mousse had gone missing, and it wasn't because he escaped on his own power.

Cologne was stumped. Shampoo was terrified.

Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi could only look at each other, sigh in worry, and hope that they'd be able to stand the upcoming storm . . .

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It happened that Friday.

One moment, Akane was in class, staring at a math textbook. The next, the windows exploded inwards, sending everyone screaming, including Hinako-sensei.

Floating robotic orbs, kind of like the ones seen on the latest Star Wars movie, moved into the room. Hinako-sensei, looking over the corner of her desk, did the only thing she could do.

She screamed and then tried to sap the energy from the nearest robot.

Not only did it have no effect, but the metallic enemy just turned towards her and zapped her with what looked to be a lot of electricity, leaving the childlike teacher unconscious. It then activated some kind of tractor beam, picking Hinako-sensei up and moving back towards the window.

Akane couldn't just let that happen.

Picking up a desk, she let the Soul of Ice take her over, and then let loose on all of her pent up aggression. She hurled the desk at the robot, knocking it aside.

If the robot had been made with Earth technology, it would have shattered into a million pieces. However, the alien was made with sturdier stuff, and though it did let go of Hinako (whom Akane grabbed and dragged back with her), all it did was ricochet off the wall, into another robot, and then realign itself with Akane.

She barely dodged the first bolt of lightning, and then managed to dodge out of the classroom before the rest of the horde shot at her. Hurling herself down the hall, she barely noted the Droids following her. She passed by her sister's classroom, causing a certain idiot Kuno to stick his head out the door.

She heard him yell something about evil sorcery, and turned her head to try and warn him. What shocked her though was that, with one swing of his bokken, he managed to split one of the droids in two! He posed heroically, crowing his victory . . . only to be shocked by the other three droids that were coming up the hall.

Still, it was the distraction Akane needed. She quickly opened the door to a Janitor's closet and tossed Hinako-sensei in. Then, slamming the door, she bolted towards a window that, many months ago, Ranma had once hurled himself through. Diving into the pool and sinking into the bottom, she glanced up to see a droid looking around for her. After a few minutes, it floated back inside the school, allowing her to head towards the pool ladder and pull herself up out of the pool.

Heading home to change out of her soaking wet uniform, she didn't notice the black, beady eyes staring at her from the other side of the street.

Later that day, Nabiki had come home panicked. The property damage had been enormous at the school, and the school was being looked over by a team of federal inspectors (that she believed had something to do with UNIT). Even worse, while Hinako-sensei had managed to stagger out of the closet she had been locked in, seven students had gone missing: two cheerleaders, a sumo wrestler, three members of the lacrosse team . . . and Kuno Tatewaki.

Little did they know that the next day would only be the calm . . . before the storm.

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COMING UP NEXT: The Toad strikes again, this time with disastrous consequences for our heroines. Will Ranma arrive in time to save them from a messy and scientific fate? Will Kodachi truly become one of the saner members of Nerima? Does Kuno even have the ability to bear children anymore?


End file.
